Congratulations to Ian Hislop, Paul Merton, Ken Livingstone, Graham Linehan and Clare Balding on this week's episode of Have I Got News For You on Friday night for being the first people to actually make a modicum of common sense amid the hysterically overblown media portrayal of the Jimmy Savile affair. I imagine that won't make them very popular in the more odious end of Fleet Street - which is, basically, all of it - particularly in the pages of the Daily Scum Mail. Which they, rightly, had a go at for its hideous online edition's 'sidebar of shame' and their curious obsession with semi-clad (yet 'all grown up') teenage girls. But it really was something of a joy to hear yer man Hislop giving a precise little essay on the differences between 'knowing' something and having 'heard a rumour' about the same subject.
'I'm glad the BBC's asked this question,' Hislop noted. 'Presumably it'll be cut and shown on ITV in three weeks time. There is hysterical "why didn't the BBC reveal it?" Well, the press didn't reveal it either,' Ian continued. 'It's [about] what the word "know" means. If you say "I knew about it", you actually mean you'd heard the rumours. Everybody heard the rumours. If you actually knew about it, you should have done something about it. But, the only people who knew about it are people to whom it happened and they tended to be disadvantaged, twelve, and not in the mood to go through a court trial. That is why nothing came out ... The truth is, no-one actually "knew". And, if they did, they should be prosecuted.'
All of this, of course, occurred on the very day when the Daily Scum Mail attempted to crowbar the late John Peel into the Savile story over a brief - apparently consensual - affair John had in 1969 with a fifteen year old teenager. The woman in question now seems to have sold her story to the Scum Mail. Classy. And the BBC, in the current climate - and with their usual rank and disgraceful spineless cowardice at executive level - appear to have colluded in the blackening of John's name.
So, not many laughs in Have I Got News For You, then. At least Qi provided a few. And, also, one of the single most disturbing images ever to appear on the small screen.
A sonic screwdriver or even a chisel might have been handy when Doctor Who actor Matt Smith made a first visit to the Cardiff exhibition about the show. For he sank his hands in to cement to make a cast to go on display at The Doctor Who Experience and then told fans: 'I can't get my hands out!' The exhibition aims to build a collection of show-related hand casts. After pulling his hands free, Smudger added: 'I'm here in stone now, so they can never forget.' Yer acutal Smudger's visit to the site, next to BBC's Roath Lock studios where the BBC's long-running popular family SF drama is made, was to unveil exhibits from the seventh series. 
Doctor Who re-materialised on the small screen in 2005 and Smith, who joined in 2009, is the eleventh regeneration of The Doctor. He predicted that his new companion, Avocado, played by Jenna-Louise Coleman, would 'prove very popular' and said he thinks she 'looks great.' Coleman had her first outing in the role when fans caught a glimpse of her in the opening episode of the last series in September. Matt said: 'Like with any companion and Doctor relationship, the chemistry and dynamic is something that is constantly evolving and hopefully constantly progressing as the story progresses. I very much enjoy working with Jenna, she's very detailed, she works very hard, she's very prepared, I think she looks great and I think she'll prove to be very popular.' Matt also paid tribute to Karen Gillan, whose last scenes as his previous companion, Amy Pond, were shown two weeks ago. Matt described the final episode with her and fellow companion Rory, played by Arthur Darvill, as 'very, very moving.' He said: 'I think it was a wonderful and fitting end to two of, in my mind, the greatest companions in recent history. I think they've been a fabulous testament to the show. It was an emotional event and I thought it was very sad but very heroic and kind of brilliant.' 
Smudge declined to give away details of the - already filmed - Christmas special, only to say that he will be filming for the next seven or eight weeks and then returning next year for more filming after a break. 2013 sees the fiftieth anniversary of the first Doctor Who episode. The Doctor Who Experience, which opened in Cardiff in July, will have costumes and props from the archive on display. Smith added: 'I think that's one of the great things about the experience, is that it allows you to touch base with the history and the legacy and I hope that in the fiftieth year we mark it and honour it in the best, most inventive and most celebratory way.'
Channel Four's documentary on air safety, The Plane Crash, proved popular with viewers on Thursday night. The ninety-minute factual programme averaged 3.15 million from 9pm, adding three hundred and thirty eight thousand additional punters on Channel 4+1. For the last fifteen minutes of the 9pm hour, The Plane Crash gained a lead over the second episode of BBC1's Hunted, which overall averaged 3.42m during its slot. Meanwhile, BBC2's The Choir surpassed ITV drama Homefront - the Gareth Malone show, this year set in Britain's busiest workplaces, was watched by 2.58m in the 9pm hour. Starring Claire Skinner, military drama Homefront had an audience of 2.44m. Wartime Farm pulled in a strong 2.65m at 8pm on BBC2, while Location, Location, Location also had a decent figure of 2.3m at the same time on Channel Four. Overall, BBC1 led primetime with 19.4 per cent of the audience share, beating ITV's 16.3 per cent.
And so to yer next batch of Top Telly Tips dear blog reader:
Saturday 20 October
A repeat, but a very worthwhile one is the Horizon episode Global Weirding - 9:00 BBC4 - which examines the work of scientists trying to understand why the world's weather seems to be getting more extreme - and downright strange - of late and if these patterns are a taste of what is to come. In the past few years, the UK has experienced very cold winters, drought and floods, while in Texas an unprecedented amount of rainfall has been followed by a record-breaking dry period.
The Met Office's computer can do one hundred trillion calculations a second. It needs to, in order to process the megasnots of data gathered from satellites, data which means, we#re told, that a five-day forecast today is as accurate as a one-day forecast was thirty years ago. All this technology isn't just to feed some quaint British obsession with weather, of course, it's main job is to keep track of increasingly freakish extremes in meteorology, not just here but around the world: from record rains in Scotland to droughts in the US and an unprecedented series of hurricanes. Scientists are trying to get to grips with it all and Horizon follows them, in one amazing scene, right into the heart of the storm.
Zoe struggles to deal with the fallout of a suspected E-coli outbreak and Dylan is touched by an elderly patient who has lost his beloved wife in Casualty - 9:10 BBC1. Long-running medical drama, starring Sunetra Sarker and William Beck.
A stranger gives Arthur the power to summon up the dead, so he seizes the opportunity to speak to the one person he misses most - his late father, Uther Pendragon in Merlin - 8:25 BBC1. But the young king's decision comes at a terrible price, for the spirit world is a dangerous place, leaving Merlin fighting against the odds to put right the mistake before Camelot is destroyed. Yer actual Anthony Head his very self returns, for one episode only, with Colin Morgan and Bradley James.
Sunday 21 October
In the latest Downton Abbey - 9:00 ITV - tempers fray as a seemingly kind gesture by Isobel backfires big-style, whilst Mary fights Branson's corner when his decisions are put under scrutiny. Robert and Cora's relationship is also under pressure, but can Violet make them see things differently? Bates goes to extreme lengths as his chance for freedom slips away. Costume drama, written by Lord Snooty and starring Penelope Wilton, Hugh Bonneville and Elizabeth McGovern.
You've Been Trumped - 10:00 BBC2 - is Anthony Baxter's fascinating documentary about Scottish home-owners taking on the American billionaire Donald Trump's plans to build a huge golf resort on an environmentally sensitive site in Aberdeenshire. The film follows the residents as they make a last stand in the face of legal threats and the loss of their water and electricity supplies.
Carrie (Claire Danes) prepares for what she hopes is a triumphant return to the CIA in Homeland - 9:00 Channel Four. Meanwhile, Brody (Damien Lewis) learns the Gettysburg bomb-maker is on a terrorist watch-list and is in danger of imminent discovery, so he makes a last-minute attempt to remedy the situation. Meanwhile, Jessica (Morena Baccarin) takes a risk when she steps into the political limelight. Superior import thriller. If you've never seen it before, where the hell have you been?
Monday 22 October
There's an alleged 'special edition' of the detective drama New Tricks - 9:00 BBC1. 'Special' in so much as it features only two members of the team. Gerry Standing and Steve McAndrew travel to Glasgow, where a new UCOS section is being set up. While there, they agree to assist the investigation into the unsolved 1983 murder of James Soutar, the wealthy owner of a string of betting shops.
Cathy Sinclair, one of the beneficiaries of the bookie's will at his death, had a care-home upbringing in common with Soutar, but she claims to have no idea who he was or why she was left fifteen thousand smackers. Steve has a personal stake in the case - the original investigating officer was a corrupt cop, Frank McNair, who once had an affair with his wife, and their paths soon cross. The London-based officers' questions begin to unsettle someone and a campaign of victimisation against them begins, but it's a revelation from Steve's girlfriend, Charley, that reawakens a long-dormant scandal and clears the path to a solution. Dennis Waterman and Denis Lawson star. Alun Armstrong and Amanda Redman get the week off.
The Goddess of punk archaeology, Professor Alice Roberts and Doctor George McGavin present the first of three episodes of Prehistoric Autopsy - 9:00 BBC2 - running on consecutive nights.
In this anatomists, anthropologists, archaeologists and special effects experts bring viewers face-to-face with a trio of humanity's closest ancestors. In the opening programme, paleoartist Viktor Deak and a team of model-makers reconstruct an entire Neanderthal body and provide a unique insight into how the extinct species looked and lived, as well as examining their similarities to modern people.
Eight Out Of Ten Cats - 10:00 Channel Four - is, of course, an irreverent panel show hosted by Jimmy Carr. But, don't let that put you off dear blog reader. Two teams answer questions based on opinion polls carried out around the country to see who best understands what is going on in Britain today.
Tuesday 23 October
Arthur Darvill, last seen being whizzed back in time to his eventual death by The Weeping Angels in Doctor Who, swaps Rory Williams' bodywarmer for a barber's coat, when he helps Moray expand The Paradise into his shop next door - but only if he can be made a junior partner in The Paradise - 9:00 BBC1.
However, he soon turns out to be a nasty piece of work when he suggests to Jonas that he has incriminating evidence surrounding the death of Moray's wife. Denise's latest idea to attract more custom backfires when men end up having fun in ladieswear, prompting their wives to threaten a boycott. Period drama, also starring Joanna Vanderham, Emun Elliott and David Hayman.
Contestants from last year's series discuss their experiences of the competition in The Great British Bake Off Revisited - 8:00 BBC2. They reveal what it was like to cook in the tent, face the scrutiny of judges Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood and the impact appearing on the show had on their lives.
Three pensioners pass on their astute and humorous thoughts on becoming old, offering an affectionate insight into old age in the Twenty First Century in Golden Oldies - 10:35 BBC1.
Doris is eighty four and will not let a living soul - including the film-maker - inside her Clacton home for fear that social services will take it away from her. Feisty Kitty, also eighty four, shows off her Kate Moss-inspired lingerie collection. But there is also a more poignant side to her story - she is a poorly woman and dreams of one day finding a miracle cure for her illness. Frank, meanwhile, has been all alone ever since his family emigrated and he has lost the will to carry on - but not his intelligence or his tragic humour.
Wednesday 24 October
In Brazil With Michael Palin - 9:00 BBC1 - the seasoned traveller, diarist and former Monty Python star explores the South American country, beginning in the North-East - where Europeans first landed and grew rich on the profits from sugar and tobacco plantations run with slave labour.
In Sao Luis, Michael finds out about a ceremony based on a two hundred-year-old tale before heading to the coastal lagoons of the Lencois Maranhenses National Park. Journeying inland, he gets a glimpse of the fast-disappearing world of old-style cowboys known as vaqueiros, has his fortune read by a Candomble priest and learns to drum with the Olodum cultural collective.
The Removal Men - 8:00 Channel Five - is a documentary following crews from removal firm Pickfords as they transport more people's possessions to new homes in the UK and abroad. In the first edition, a self-confessed hoarder finds it difficult to leave things behind, a family's move to Scotland runs into trouble, and a thrash metal fan has issues with his guitar while relocating to New York.
Dallas Campbell tells the story of the Voyager Space Mission, which saw two unmanned spacecraft leave Earth to explore the farthest reaches of the solar system in Voyager: To The Final Frontier - 9:00 BBC4. The probes were launched in 1977, and over the past thirty five years they became the first man-made objects to visit Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. Having travelled eleven billion miles to date, the pair now journey beyond the influence of Earth's sun, bearing a record of human civilisation in case of discovery by another.
Dom receives a cryptic text from an ex that prompts a crisis of faith, and he turns to Frank for help with the situation in the latest episode of Shameless - 10:00 Channel Four. One of Lillian's customers at the brothel turns out to be a magistrate who has been claiming his visits on expenses, forcing her to try to convince a judge she is really a life coach. Meanwhile, Letitia decides she wants to lose her virginity, but first she has to find a suitable partner.
Thursday 25 October
Jack Turner is forced to bid more for the dam than he can afford in Hunted - 9:00 BBC1. It appears he has hatched a plan with hedge-fund manager Lewis Conroy, so Sam sets out to find the connection between the two men. But while she is investigating them, colleague Aidan is looking into her past, having discovered some of his ex-lover's secrets. Espionage thriller, starring Melissa George, Patrick Malahide, Adam Rayner and Richard Dormer.
Cast members past and present of Emmerdale recall some of their more sizzling storylines, revealing what happened when their characters jumped into bed with people they shouldn't have in Emmerdale At Forty - 8:30 ITV. Narrator Gaynor Faye remembers Chas's revenge on Carl for cheating with sexy seductress Eve, Cain and Charity's on-off affair and the Sugden brothers Andy and Robert's rivalry over the same girl. Including interviews with Natalie J Robb, Jeff Hordley, Emma Atkins, Suzanne Shaw and Sammy Winward.
Storyville: American Idol - 11:20 BBC2 - is a documentary examining the achievements of two-term US president Ronald Reagan, who died in 2004, made in 2011 to mark the centenary of his birth and featuring interviews with colleagues and people who knew him well.
The film looks at how the legacy of `the Great Communicator' continues to divide opinion, and also explores Reagan's personality, his influence on world politics, and how his name is still mentioned by Republicans and Democrats in a bid to win votes. And cupcakes, for that matter.
In the final episode of Wartime Farm - 8:00 BBC2 - Ruth Goodman, Alex Langlands and Peter Ginn face up to the conditions of 1945 as their project draws to a close, tackling the most crucial event of their farming year - harvesting the wheat crop. They also discover that victory in Europe meant that Britain had to share the responsibility for feeding populations across the war-torn continent whose food supplies had been devastated by war. As a fitting send-off, the team celebrates with a party.
Friday 26 October
Friday night is, of course, BBC comedy night with Have I Got News For You - 9:00 BBC1 and Qi - 10:00 BBC2. And, that's about it, really.
And so to the news: Channel Four has announced that it is axing the T4 brand. The broadcaster will continue to screen the current weekend programming - produced by Shine's Princess Productions - until December, when it will be replaced with a new music-driven format. T4 was launched in 1998, and over the course of its fourteen-year history has helped to kick start the presenting careers of names including Dermot O'Dreary, Simon Amstell, Alexa Chung and new BBC Radio 1 breakfast show host Nick Grimshaw. Since 2005 the brand - which targeted the sixteen to twenty four demographic - also staged its own annual music festival T4 On The Beach. It was preceded by the Popbeach event in 2003 and 2004. T4 recently moved from Channel Four to sister station E4, and is said to have been dropped as part of a move to 'refresh the network's youth programming.'
Channel Four's head of formats, Dominic Bird, is reportedly looking for three music shows to pilot in the new year, which will be broadcast on Friday nights and designed to appeal to the T4 audience. All six of then. 'This is an incredibly exciting opportunity to develop a credible popular music show for Friday nights,' Bird told Broadcast of the move. 'The pilots reflect our continued ambition to provide our younger audiences on Channel Four with a range of entertaining music content. Whilst T4 has historically been a much loved destination for our young audiences, its popularity has been incrementally diminished over time by the digital revolution,' he added. 'In a landscape where Channel Four now provides E4, the nation's most popular channel for sixteen to thirty four year olds, T4 has been fighting incredibly hard to maintain the cut through it once enjoyed, and now is the right time to look at more appropriate ways to serve our younger viewers.' Former T4 presenter Vernon Kay took to Twitter to reminisce about his time with the broadcaster following the announcement. 'Very sad T4 is ending,' he tweeted. 'The start of great things for many many people, in front of and behind the camera!'
Damian Lewis has reportedly signed a new five-year contract for Homeland. The deal means that the British actor could potentially play the role of Nicholas Brody for seven seasons total, according to the Daily Scum Mail. Homeland co-star David Harewood - who plays CIA counter-terrorism director David Estes - has apparently signed a similar five-year deal.
Lewis recently won an Emmy in the category of Outstanding Lead Actor for his performance as tortured marine-turned-politician Brody. Homeland itself was also named Outstanding Drama Series, while Claire Danes was recognised as Outstanding Lead Actress. The second season of Homeland is currently being broadcast on Showtime in the US and Channel Four in the UK, with a third run yet to be officially confirmed.
David Mitchell turned down Celebrity Mastermind because he feared it would shatter people's illusions of him being 'better read than I am.' Well, this blogger reckons David's a full-of-his-own-importance dick anyway so, you know, it's wouldn't have made any difference to me, personally. He said: 'I thought people might have thought I'd do well. I didn't want to disprove them.' Had he accepted his challenge, his specialist subject would have been The Simpsons.
The row over Tory Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell's outburst at police officers in Downing Street has been 'hijacked', Defence Secretary Phillip Hammond claims. Mitchell met Police Federation representatives on Friday to discuss a claim - which he denies - that he called officers 'plebs' last month. The local federation's chairman said the minister's position was 'untenable.' But Hammond told Radio 4's Any Questions the federation was using the situation 'for their own purposes.' He said the federation - which has been at odds with the government over police cuts in England and Wales and changes to members' pay and conditions - was using the row as 'an excuse' to bring up other grievances. 'We've now got other people who were not involved in the incident who seem to be trying to hijack this issue now and take it forward for their own purposes,' he said. 'The man's apologised, the person he insulted has accepted the apology, let's draw a line.' That, of course, doesn't answer the question of Mitchell's denial that he said what the police said her said. Either Mitchell is lying, or the police officer is, there's no middle ground. Hammond added: 'The House of Commons will be back on Monday - Andrew Mitchell will be performing his duties as chief whip. I don't really buy the argument that he can't do the job. I think he can do the job.' Mitchell, who is reported to have sworn at an officer, has apologised for 'disrespectful' remarks made three weeks ago after he was asked to get off his bicycle and use a small pedestrian gate rather than the main Downing Street gate. But he has maintained he 'did not use the words attributed to me.'
West Mercia Police Federation chairman Ken Mackaill - one of three representatives who met the Tory MP for forty five minutes in his Sutton Coldfield constituency office - said Mitchell had 'no option but to resign' after refusing to give details of exactly what he did say in his outburst. Mackaill added: 'Whilst he has repeated his - to use his words - "profound apology" for what he did say he has also repeated his denial of using many of the words reported in the officer's notes recorded at the time.' Mackaill said the issue was 'about the honesty and accuracy of police records and there are implications for officers giving evidence in court, after all. We take the view that this is a Cabinet minister challenging the accuracy of police records and that, we think, is of interest to all police officers.' Prime Minister David Cameron and senior officers have said a line should be drawn under the matter following Mitchell's previous apology, but pressure on Mitchell continues. His future was the source of much speculation during this week's Tory conference - which he chose not to attend - with ministers repeatedly being asked about the incident. Labour, which had previously called for Mitchell to provide 'further clarity' on what he said to police officers, has also called on Cameron to sack his chief whip. On Saturday, shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper said: 'The failure by David Cameron and Andrew Mitchell to take this incident seriously enough and to sort it out straight away means Andrew Mitchell will clearly not be able to instill respect in Parliament or beyond as chief whip, and this will just drag on and on.' Last month, police officers protested outside Mitchell's constituency office wearing T-shirt with the words 'PC Pleb and Proud' printed on them.
Stephen Graham has said that the next This Is England series will shoot in 2013. The actor - who played Combo in the 2006 Shane Meadows movie and its TV spin-offs - told the Digital Spy website that This Is England 1990 will 'definitely' start filming next year. 'Shane is doing The Stone Roses documentary, but we're definitely gonna do [the new series] next year and my character is going to be coming out of prison, so I'm really looking forward to that,' Graham said. The thirty nine-year-old - promoting the DVD release of the BBC drama Parade's End - admitted that he was apprehensive when Meadows first approached him about reprising his role of Combo in a TV series.
'I think it was such a good film that stood up on its own,' he explained. 'And then when he explained it to me, what I loved about it was getting to know the other characters of the story and letting them really become a part of the whole thing. You're getting to see their life, their stories and everything. It's a big ensemble piece now. I'm such a big fan of the show - I guess because I wasn't in the TV series much, I watched it and thought it was fantastic!' Graham went on to describe last year's Christmas three-parter This Is England '88 as 'phenomenal' and 'an amazing piece of television. Some of the acting was leagues apart from anything I've seen in a long time,' he said. 'Vicky McClure was just breathtaking.'
The producers of new US series Arrow have talked about the casting of John Barrowman. The Doctor Who and Torchwood actor will play a character known only as 'the well-dressed man' on the CW superhero drama. 'I'm a lifelong Doctor Who fan - like Peter Davison-Colin Baker lifelong fan,' Andrew Kreisberg told Collider. 'So, when John Barrowman's name came up for this part I basically laid out the plan that we had for his character, and who he is and how he relates to everybody and what's going on, because we didn't have a lot written.
I said, "So, I guess I'm asking you to take a leap of faith." He said, "It's funny, seven years ago, Russell Davies told me to take a leap of faith with him, and I hear your passion and creativity the way I heard his. So, let's do it!" That was the best phone call I've ever gotten.' Kreisberg added that Barrowman's character on Arrow is 'completely different' to his role of Jack Harkness. 'He's just such a tremendously talented actor, and [his casting is] one of the things we're most proud of with the show,' he said. Fellow producer Marc Guggenheim also praised Barrowman, calling him 'incredibly magnetic and incredibly charming. I'll be honest, I haven't seen Torchwood [so] I come to his performance on my own terms,' he explained. '[John] lights up the screen and he really energises the actors that he has scenes with.'
Yer actual Roger Moore has appeared on QVC to sell copies of his new book. The eighty four-year-old actor appeared on the shopping channel on Friday to promote Bond on Bond, a guide to the film franchise celebrating fifty years of the character. Roge was selling hardback editions of the book, which come with a bookplate signed by the actor. Within minutes of being on air, fifteen hundred copies had been sold. During the show, the actor gave an insight into his life playing Bond. When asked whether he had kept in touch with any of his female Bond co-stars, Moore replied: 'Just the ones my wife will let me be friends with!' The product description listed on the programme read 'Roger Moore Bond on Bond Hardback Book with Signed Bookplate', and was advertised for a price of £15.47. His appearance on QVC was deemed to be so popular by the channel that he made a second appearance later in the day to further promote the book.
A teenager has been 'left puzzled' - and a bit sore, one imagines - after being hit by pieces of raw chicken which fell from the sky. Lordy, it's The End of Days. According to the Salisbury Daily Times, Cassie Bernand was enjoying a horse riding lesson at her instructor Jennifer Cording's farm in Assawoman, Virginia when the meat struck her on the head. 'Three objects fell out of the sky in front of us, two larger and one quite small,' explained Cording, who was leading a lesson for a group of advanced students while several parents looked on. Officials from a nearby Tyson Foods Inc. processing plant denied that the chicken came from their premises. 
'When we transport by-products, our trucks are loaded inside [and] are covered with tarps,' said spokesman Worth Sparkman, explaining that any trailers carrying byproducts are unloaded in covered areas and washed after being emptied. Local land protection manager, Milton Johnston, said it was likely that the parts came from composted dead chickens on a nearby farm. 'We can't have pieces of chicken falling out of the sky,' he added. Well no. Because that would be against All Laws of God and Man. Avian expert Bryan D Watts has suggested that several species of gulls carrying pieces of chicken in their mouths are probably to blame. 'I doubt it would be vultures, because they don't typically carry things and they don't regurgitate in the air,' he said. 'It's more likely gulls, which we know carry chicken parts.' Watts added that local scientists monitoring gull colonies on the Eastern Shore of Virginia have reported "a lot of chicken bones" coming from the area. Cording's farm lies between a series of marshes housing the gull population and a poultry-processing facility in nearby Temperanceville. 'The concern [the incident] brings up is the parts are supposed to be disposed of or covered,' said Watts. 'They are not supposed to be available to scavengers.' A Virginia Department of Environmental Quality official said that the agency plans to investigate the events. 'It was one of those things around here that gives us something to talk about,' said Cording. 'It was a weird night.'
A mysterious eyeball has washed up on a beach in the US, leaving scientists baffled as to where it came from. The big blue eyeball was found by Gino Covacci on Pompano Beach, Florida. Covacci told Florida's Sun Sentinel newspaper that he kicked the object along the beach when he first saw it, until he realised what it was.
'It was very fresh, it was still bleeding when I put it in the plastic bag,' he recalled. Covacci notified a police officer, who then gave him the phone number for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. No-one there has been able to say where the eyeball may have come from. Charles Messing, a professor at Nova Southeastern University's Oceanographic Centre, said that he thinks the most likely candidate is a swordfish. The wildlife commission has said that identification could take some time, although scientists are starting to narrow it down.
And so to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. Here's a tasty bit of yer actual Nod, Jim, Dave and Don. There just aren't anywhere near enough mirrored top hats on TV these days, are there dear blog reader?
So, not many laughs in Have I Got News For You, then. At least Qi provided a few. And, also, one of the single most disturbing images ever to appear on the small screen.
Doctor Who re-materialised on the small screen in 2005 and Smith, who joined in 2009, is the eleventh regeneration of The Doctor. He predicted that his new companion, Avocado, played by Jenna-Louise Coleman, would 'prove very popular' and said he thinks she 'looks great.' Coleman had her first outing in the role when fans caught a glimpse of her in the opening episode of the last series in September. Matt said: 'Like with any companion and Doctor relationship, the chemistry and dynamic is something that is constantly evolving and hopefully constantly progressing as the story progresses. I very much enjoy working with Jenna, she's very detailed, she works very hard, she's very prepared, I think she looks great and I think she'll prove to be very popular.' Matt also paid tribute to Karen Gillan, whose last scenes as his previous companion, Amy Pond, were shown two weeks ago. Matt described the final episode with her and fellow companion Rory, played by Arthur Darvill, as 'very, very moving.' He said: 'I think it was a wonderful and fitting end to two of, in my mind, the greatest companions in recent history. I think they've been a fabulous testament to the show. It was an emotional event and I thought it was very sad but very heroic and kind of brilliant.' 
Smudge declined to give away details of the - already filmed - Christmas special, only to say that he will be filming for the next seven or eight weeks and then returning next year for more filming after a break. 2013 sees the fiftieth anniversary of the first Doctor Who episode. The Doctor Who Experience, which opened in Cardiff in July, will have costumes and props from the archive on display. Smith added: 'I think that's one of the great things about the experience, is that it allows you to touch base with the history and the legacy and I hope that in the fiftieth year we mark it and honour it in the best, most inventive and most celebratory way.'Channel Four's documentary on air safety, The Plane Crash, proved popular with viewers on Thursday night. The ninety-minute factual programme averaged 3.15 million from 9pm, adding three hundred and thirty eight thousand additional punters on Channel 4+1. For the last fifteen minutes of the 9pm hour, The Plane Crash gained a lead over the second episode of BBC1's Hunted, which overall averaged 3.42m during its slot. Meanwhile, BBC2's The Choir surpassed ITV drama Homefront - the Gareth Malone show, this year set in Britain's busiest workplaces, was watched by 2.58m in the 9pm hour. Starring Claire Skinner, military drama Homefront had an audience of 2.44m. Wartime Farm pulled in a strong 2.65m at 8pm on BBC2, while Location, Location, Location also had a decent figure of 2.3m at the same time on Channel Four. Overall, BBC1 led primetime with 19.4 per cent of the audience share, beating ITV's 16.3 per cent.
And so to yer next batch of Top Telly Tips dear blog reader:
Saturday 20 October
A repeat, but a very worthwhile one is the Horizon episode Global Weirding - 9:00 BBC4 - which examines the work of scientists trying to understand why the world's weather seems to be getting more extreme - and downright strange - of late and if these patterns are a taste of what is to come. In the past few years, the UK has experienced very cold winters, drought and floods, while in Texas an unprecedented amount of rainfall has been followed by a record-breaking dry period.
The Met Office's computer can do one hundred trillion calculations a second. It needs to, in order to process the megasnots of data gathered from satellites, data which means, we#re told, that a five-day forecast today is as accurate as a one-day forecast was thirty years ago. All this technology isn't just to feed some quaint British obsession with weather, of course, it's main job is to keep track of increasingly freakish extremes in meteorology, not just here but around the world: from record rains in Scotland to droughts in the US and an unprecedented series of hurricanes. Scientists are trying to get to grips with it all and Horizon follows them, in one amazing scene, right into the heart of the storm.Zoe struggles to deal with the fallout of a suspected E-coli outbreak and Dylan is touched by an elderly patient who has lost his beloved wife in Casualty - 9:10 BBC1. Long-running medical drama, starring Sunetra Sarker and William Beck.
In the latest Downton Abbey - 9:00 ITV - tempers fray as a seemingly kind gesture by Isobel backfires big-style, whilst Mary fights Branson's corner when his decisions are put under scrutiny. Robert and Cora's relationship is also under pressure, but can Violet make them see things differently? Bates goes to extreme lengths as his chance for freedom slips away. Costume drama, written by Lord Snooty and starring Penelope Wilton, Hugh Bonneville and Elizabeth McGovern.
You've Been Trumped - 10:00 BBC2 - is Anthony Baxter's fascinating documentary about Scottish home-owners taking on the American billionaire Donald Trump's plans to build a huge golf resort on an environmentally sensitive site in Aberdeenshire. The film follows the residents as they make a last stand in the face of legal threats and the loss of their water and electricity supplies.
Monday 22 October
There's an alleged 'special edition' of the detective drama New Tricks - 9:00 BBC1. 'Special' in so much as it features only two members of the team. Gerry Standing and Steve McAndrew travel to Glasgow, where a new UCOS section is being set up. While there, they agree to assist the investigation into the unsolved 1983 murder of James Soutar, the wealthy owner of a string of betting shops.
Cathy Sinclair, one of the beneficiaries of the bookie's will at his death, had a care-home upbringing in common with Soutar, but she claims to have no idea who he was or why she was left fifteen thousand smackers. Steve has a personal stake in the case - the original investigating officer was a corrupt cop, Frank McNair, who once had an affair with his wife, and their paths soon cross. The London-based officers' questions begin to unsettle someone and a campaign of victimisation against them begins, but it's a revelation from Steve's girlfriend, Charley, that reawakens a long-dormant scandal and clears the path to a solution. Dennis Waterman and Denis Lawson star. Alun Armstrong and Amanda Redman get the week off.The Goddess of punk archaeology, Professor Alice Roberts and Doctor George McGavin present the first of three episodes of Prehistoric Autopsy - 9:00 BBC2 - running on consecutive nights.
In this anatomists, anthropologists, archaeologists and special effects experts bring viewers face-to-face with a trio of humanity's closest ancestors. In the opening programme, paleoartist Viktor Deak and a team of model-makers reconstruct an entire Neanderthal body and provide a unique insight into how the extinct species looked and lived, as well as examining their similarities to modern people.Eight Out Of Ten Cats - 10:00 Channel Four - is, of course, an irreverent panel show hosted by Jimmy Carr. But, don't let that put you off dear blog reader. Two teams answer questions based on opinion polls carried out around the country to see who best understands what is going on in Britain today.
Tuesday 23 October
Arthur Darvill, last seen being whizzed back in time to his eventual death by The Weeping Angels in Doctor Who, swaps Rory Williams' bodywarmer for a barber's coat, when he helps Moray expand The Paradise into his shop next door - but only if he can be made a junior partner in The Paradise - 9:00 BBC1.
However, he soon turns out to be a nasty piece of work when he suggests to Jonas that he has incriminating evidence surrounding the death of Moray's wife. Denise's latest idea to attract more custom backfires when men end up having fun in ladieswear, prompting their wives to threaten a boycott. Period drama, also starring Joanna Vanderham, Emun Elliott and David Hayman.Contestants from last year's series discuss their experiences of the competition in The Great British Bake Off Revisited - 8:00 BBC2. They reveal what it was like to cook in the tent, face the scrutiny of judges Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood and the impact appearing on the show had on their lives.
Three pensioners pass on their astute and humorous thoughts on becoming old, offering an affectionate insight into old age in the Twenty First Century in Golden Oldies - 10:35 BBC1.
Doris is eighty four and will not let a living soul - including the film-maker - inside her Clacton home for fear that social services will take it away from her. Feisty Kitty, also eighty four, shows off her Kate Moss-inspired lingerie collection. But there is also a more poignant side to her story - she is a poorly woman and dreams of one day finding a miracle cure for her illness. Frank, meanwhile, has been all alone ever since his family emigrated and he has lost the will to carry on - but not his intelligence or his tragic humour.Wednesday 24 October
In Brazil With Michael Palin - 9:00 BBC1 - the seasoned traveller, diarist and former Monty Python star explores the South American country, beginning in the North-East - where Europeans first landed and grew rich on the profits from sugar and tobacco plantations run with slave labour.
In Sao Luis, Michael finds out about a ceremony based on a two hundred-year-old tale before heading to the coastal lagoons of the Lencois Maranhenses National Park. Journeying inland, he gets a glimpse of the fast-disappearing world of old-style cowboys known as vaqueiros, has his fortune read by a Candomble priest and learns to drum with the Olodum cultural collective.The Removal Men - 8:00 Channel Five - is a documentary following crews from removal firm Pickfords as they transport more people's possessions to new homes in the UK and abroad. In the first edition, a self-confessed hoarder finds it difficult to leave things behind, a family's move to Scotland runs into trouble, and a thrash metal fan has issues with his guitar while relocating to New York.
Dallas Campbell tells the story of the Voyager Space Mission, which saw two unmanned spacecraft leave Earth to explore the farthest reaches of the solar system in Voyager: To The Final Frontier - 9:00 BBC4. The probes were launched in 1977, and over the past thirty five years they became the first man-made objects to visit Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. Having travelled eleven billion miles to date, the pair now journey beyond the influence of Earth's sun, bearing a record of human civilisation in case of discovery by another.
Thursday 25 October
Jack Turner is forced to bid more for the dam than he can afford in Hunted - 9:00 BBC1. It appears he has hatched a plan with hedge-fund manager Lewis Conroy, so Sam sets out to find the connection between the two men. But while she is investigating them, colleague Aidan is looking into her past, having discovered some of his ex-lover's secrets. Espionage thriller, starring Melissa George, Patrick Malahide, Adam Rayner and Richard Dormer.
Storyville: American Idol - 11:20 BBC2 - is a documentary examining the achievements of two-term US president Ronald Reagan, who died in 2004, made in 2011 to mark the centenary of his birth and featuring interviews with colleagues and people who knew him well.
The film looks at how the legacy of `the Great Communicator' continues to divide opinion, and also explores Reagan's personality, his influence on world politics, and how his name is still mentioned by Republicans and Democrats in a bid to win votes. And cupcakes, for that matter. In the final episode of Wartime Farm - 8:00 BBC2 - Ruth Goodman, Alex Langlands and Peter Ginn face up to the conditions of 1945 as their project draws to a close, tackling the most crucial event of their farming year - harvesting the wheat crop. They also discover that victory in Europe meant that Britain had to share the responsibility for feeding populations across the war-torn continent whose food supplies had been devastated by war. As a fitting send-off, the team celebrates with a party.
Friday night is, of course, BBC comedy night with Have I Got News For You - 9:00 BBC1 and Qi - 10:00 BBC2. And, that's about it, really.
And so to the news: Channel Four has announced that it is axing the T4 brand. The broadcaster will continue to screen the current weekend programming - produced by Shine's Princess Productions - until December, when it will be replaced with a new music-driven format. T4 was launched in 1998, and over the course of its fourteen-year history has helped to kick start the presenting careers of names including Dermot O'Dreary, Simon Amstell, Alexa Chung and new BBC Radio 1 breakfast show host Nick Grimshaw. Since 2005 the brand - which targeted the sixteen to twenty four demographic - also staged its own annual music festival T4 On The Beach. It was preceded by the Popbeach event in 2003 and 2004. T4 recently moved from Channel Four to sister station E4, and is said to have been dropped as part of a move to 'refresh the network's youth programming.'
Channel Four's head of formats, Dominic Bird, is reportedly looking for three music shows to pilot in the new year, which will be broadcast on Friday nights and designed to appeal to the T4 audience. All six of then. 'This is an incredibly exciting opportunity to develop a credible popular music show for Friday nights,' Bird told Broadcast of the move. 'The pilots reflect our continued ambition to provide our younger audiences on Channel Four with a range of entertaining music content. Whilst T4 has historically been a much loved destination for our young audiences, its popularity has been incrementally diminished over time by the digital revolution,' he added. 'In a landscape where Channel Four now provides E4, the nation's most popular channel for sixteen to thirty four year olds, T4 has been fighting incredibly hard to maintain the cut through it once enjoyed, and now is the right time to look at more appropriate ways to serve our younger viewers.' Former T4 presenter Vernon Kay took to Twitter to reminisce about his time with the broadcaster following the announcement. 'Very sad T4 is ending,' he tweeted. 'The start of great things for many many people, in front of and behind the camera!' Damian Lewis has reportedly signed a new five-year contract for Homeland. The deal means that the British actor could potentially play the role of Nicholas Brody for seven seasons total, according to the Daily Scum Mail. Homeland co-star David Harewood - who plays CIA counter-terrorism director David Estes - has apparently signed a similar five-year deal.
Lewis recently won an Emmy in the category of Outstanding Lead Actor for his performance as tortured marine-turned-politician Brody. Homeland itself was also named Outstanding Drama Series, while Claire Danes was recognised as Outstanding Lead Actress. The second season of Homeland is currently being broadcast on Showtime in the US and Channel Four in the UK, with a third run yet to be officially confirmed.David Mitchell turned down Celebrity Mastermind because he feared it would shatter people's illusions of him being 'better read than I am.' Well, this blogger reckons David's a full-of-his-own-importance dick anyway so, you know, it's wouldn't have made any difference to me, personally. He said: 'I thought people might have thought I'd do well. I didn't want to disprove them.' Had he accepted his challenge, his specialist subject would have been The Simpsons.
The row over Tory Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell's outburst at police officers in Downing Street has been 'hijacked', Defence Secretary Phillip Hammond claims. Mitchell met Police Federation representatives on Friday to discuss a claim - which he denies - that he called officers 'plebs' last month. The local federation's chairman said the minister's position was 'untenable.' But Hammond told Radio 4's Any Questions the federation was using the situation 'for their own purposes.' He said the federation - which has been at odds with the government over police cuts in England and Wales and changes to members' pay and conditions - was using the row as 'an excuse' to bring up other grievances. 'We've now got other people who were not involved in the incident who seem to be trying to hijack this issue now and take it forward for their own purposes,' he said. 'The man's apologised, the person he insulted has accepted the apology, let's draw a line.' That, of course, doesn't answer the question of Mitchell's denial that he said what the police said her said. Either Mitchell is lying, or the police officer is, there's no middle ground. Hammond added: 'The House of Commons will be back on Monday - Andrew Mitchell will be performing his duties as chief whip. I don't really buy the argument that he can't do the job. I think he can do the job.' Mitchell, who is reported to have sworn at an officer, has apologised for 'disrespectful' remarks made three weeks ago after he was asked to get off his bicycle and use a small pedestrian gate rather than the main Downing Street gate. But he has maintained he 'did not use the words attributed to me.'
West Mercia Police Federation chairman Ken Mackaill - one of three representatives who met the Tory MP for forty five minutes in his Sutton Coldfield constituency office - said Mitchell had 'no option but to resign' after refusing to give details of exactly what he did say in his outburst. Mackaill added: 'Whilst he has repeated his - to use his words - "profound apology" for what he did say he has also repeated his denial of using many of the words reported in the officer's notes recorded at the time.' Mackaill said the issue was 'about the honesty and accuracy of police records and there are implications for officers giving evidence in court, after all. We take the view that this is a Cabinet minister challenging the accuracy of police records and that, we think, is of interest to all police officers.' Prime Minister David Cameron and senior officers have said a line should be drawn under the matter following Mitchell's previous apology, but pressure on Mitchell continues. His future was the source of much speculation during this week's Tory conference - which he chose not to attend - with ministers repeatedly being asked about the incident. Labour, which had previously called for Mitchell to provide 'further clarity' on what he said to police officers, has also called on Cameron to sack his chief whip. On Saturday, shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper said: 'The failure by David Cameron and Andrew Mitchell to take this incident seriously enough and to sort it out straight away means Andrew Mitchell will clearly not be able to instill respect in Parliament or beyond as chief whip, and this will just drag on and on.' Last month, police officers protested outside Mitchell's constituency office wearing T-shirt with the words 'PC Pleb and Proud' printed on them.Stephen Graham has said that the next This Is England series will shoot in 2013. The actor - who played Combo in the 2006 Shane Meadows movie and its TV spin-offs - told the Digital Spy website that This Is England 1990 will 'definitely' start filming next year. 'Shane is doing The Stone Roses documentary, but we're definitely gonna do [the new series] next year and my character is going to be coming out of prison, so I'm really looking forward to that,' Graham said. The thirty nine-year-old - promoting the DVD release of the BBC drama Parade's End - admitted that he was apprehensive when Meadows first approached him about reprising his role of Combo in a TV series.
'I think it was such a good film that stood up on its own,' he explained. 'And then when he explained it to me, what I loved about it was getting to know the other characters of the story and letting them really become a part of the whole thing. You're getting to see their life, their stories and everything. It's a big ensemble piece now. I'm such a big fan of the show - I guess because I wasn't in the TV series much, I watched it and thought it was fantastic!' Graham went on to describe last year's Christmas three-parter This Is England '88 as 'phenomenal' and 'an amazing piece of television. Some of the acting was leagues apart from anything I've seen in a long time,' he said. 'Vicky McClure was just breathtaking.'The producers of new US series Arrow have talked about the casting of John Barrowman. The Doctor Who and Torchwood actor will play a character known only as 'the well-dressed man' on the CW superhero drama. 'I'm a lifelong Doctor Who fan - like Peter Davison-Colin Baker lifelong fan,' Andrew Kreisberg told Collider. 'So, when John Barrowman's name came up for this part I basically laid out the plan that we had for his character, and who he is and how he relates to everybody and what's going on, because we didn't have a lot written.
I said, "So, I guess I'm asking you to take a leap of faith." He said, "It's funny, seven years ago, Russell Davies told me to take a leap of faith with him, and I hear your passion and creativity the way I heard his. So, let's do it!" That was the best phone call I've ever gotten.' Kreisberg added that Barrowman's character on Arrow is 'completely different' to his role of Jack Harkness. 'He's just such a tremendously talented actor, and [his casting is] one of the things we're most proud of with the show,' he said. Fellow producer Marc Guggenheim also praised Barrowman, calling him 'incredibly magnetic and incredibly charming. I'll be honest, I haven't seen Torchwood [so] I come to his performance on my own terms,' he explained. '[John] lights up the screen and he really energises the actors that he has scenes with.'Yer actual Roger Moore has appeared on QVC to sell copies of his new book. The eighty four-year-old actor appeared on the shopping channel on Friday to promote Bond on Bond, a guide to the film franchise celebrating fifty years of the character. Roge was selling hardback editions of the book, which come with a bookplate signed by the actor. Within minutes of being on air, fifteen hundred copies had been sold. During the show, the actor gave an insight into his life playing Bond. When asked whether he had kept in touch with any of his female Bond co-stars, Moore replied: 'Just the ones my wife will let me be friends with!' The product description listed on the programme read 'Roger Moore Bond on Bond Hardback Book with Signed Bookplate', and was advertised for a price of £15.47. His appearance on QVC was deemed to be so popular by the channel that he made a second appearance later in the day to further promote the book.
'When we transport by-products, our trucks are loaded inside [and] are covered with tarps,' said spokesman Worth Sparkman, explaining that any trailers carrying byproducts are unloaded in covered areas and washed after being emptied. Local land protection manager, Milton Johnston, said it was likely that the parts came from composted dead chickens on a nearby farm. 'We can't have pieces of chicken falling out of the sky,' he added. Well no. Because that would be against All Laws of God and Man. Avian expert Bryan D Watts has suggested that several species of gulls carrying pieces of chicken in their mouths are probably to blame. 'I doubt it would be vultures, because they don't typically carry things and they don't regurgitate in the air,' he said. 'It's more likely gulls, which we know carry chicken parts.' Watts added that local scientists monitoring gull colonies on the Eastern Shore of Virginia have reported "a lot of chicken bones" coming from the area. Cording's farm lies between a series of marshes housing the gull population and a poultry-processing facility in nearby Temperanceville. 'The concern [the incident] brings up is the parts are supposed to be disposed of or covered,' said Watts. 'They are not supposed to be available to scavengers.' A Virginia Department of Environmental Quality official said that the agency plans to investigate the events. 'It was one of those things around here that gives us something to talk about,' said Cording. 'It was a weird night.'A mysterious eyeball has washed up on a beach in the US, leaving scientists baffled as to where it came from. The big blue eyeball was found by Gino Covacci on Pompano Beach, Florida. Covacci told Florida's Sun Sentinel newspaper that he kicked the object along the beach when he first saw it, until he realised what it was.
'It was very fresh, it was still bleeding when I put it in the plastic bag,' he recalled. Covacci notified a police officer, who then gave him the phone number for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. No-one there has been able to say where the eyeball may have come from. Charles Messing, a professor at Nova Southeastern University's Oceanographic Centre, said that he thinks the most likely candidate is a swordfish. The wildlife commission has said that identification could take some time, although scientists are starting to narrow it down.And so to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. Here's a tasty bit of yer actual Nod, Jim, Dave and Don. There just aren't anywhere near enough mirrored top hats on TV these days, are there dear blog reader?
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