Martin Freeman has confirmed filming dates for the third series of Sherlock. The actor - who plays John Watson, just in case you're one of the six people in the world who didn't know - revealed that three new episodes will be shot 'over four months' in early 2013. 
Speaking at a Comic-Con press conference to promote his role in The Hobbit films over the weekend, Martin said: '[We film] in January until about April, I think.' He added: 'It's a pleasure for us to do. We love it!' Sherlock co-creator The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat (Thou Shalt Worship No Other Gods Before He) first revealed in May that a third series would commence filming 'in the New Year.' Mark Gatiss later confirmed that he will write the premiere episode, which will be at least in part based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's story The Adventure of the Empty House. Marvellous.
Meanwhile, various Internet rumours that Billie Piper has been spotted on location at a recent Doctor Who shoot were, apparently (and, unsurprisingly) an - official - 'load of old bogus cock.' This chap, however, was spotted in them-there parts.
Don't you just love the Internet, dear blog reader? Everyone on it is so honest, uncycnical and likeable and would never, ever lie or use sick agenda-based nastiness to try and upset someone or provoke a fight.
It has been reported - by the Metro, if not by a proper newspaper - that yer actual Matt Smith has been banned from playing football by 'BBC bosses' in case he injures himself. As usual, the story is partly true but, inevitably, misses out some vital context and gets the people responsible for the alleged 'ban' wrong. Matt, of course, famously turned to acting after a back injury scuppered his dreams of becoming a professional footballer, having played for the youth teams of Northampton Town, Nottingham Forest and Leicester City as a teenager. He even showed off his dribbling prowess and how lethal he was in the box in Doctor Who, impressing James Corden during a pub game in the 2010 episode The Lodger. But now, the free newspaper claims, Matt has 'been banned' from joining the cast and crew's weekly football session, for fear that he may injure himself and jeopardise filming of Doctor Who. Makes sense, one imagines - remember, in 1995 Paul McGann had to give up the role of Richard Sharpe in the ITV's prestigious adaptations of the Bernard Cornwall Sharpe novels because he knackered his cruciate ligament which playing a game of footie two days into filming. 
How very different the world might have been if he hadn't done that. He would've gone on to be a terrific Sharpe. Meanwhile, Sean Bean might well have been cast as The Doctor instead of McGann in the 1996 TV movie. 'Ey, Grace, lass, loooook at t'size of t'Cybermen!' And all that. I'd've watched it. Anyway, back to yer man Smudger. The twenty nine-year-old confirmed that the story was, essentially, true telling Radio Times: 'I'd love to play football. Everyone at work plays on Tuesdays, but they won't let me. I guess it's the insurance companies and, realistically, if I turn my ankle over and we can't shoot, then we're screwed, aren't we? It's a small price to pay.' So, nothing whatsoever to do with 'BBC bosses.' Matt is soon to be seen in the BBC drama Bert and Dickie, which sees the actor take on the role of British rower Bert Bushnell, who won a gold medal in the double sculls at the 1948 London Olympics. Matt spent six weeks being taught the basics of boatmanship by members of the Leander rowing club in Henley-on-Thames for the BBC1 drama. He revealed preparation for the role was physically demanding, saying: 'I've got blisters on the hand, cuts and bruises everywhere. Calluses. Your bum is the worst thing because those old wooden seats are pretty grim. I loved it, although it's taken its toll physically.' Matt also drew comparisons between being an actor and being a sportsman, adding: 'There are so many parallels between that world and the world that I inhabit. There's practice, for one thing, and that sense of discipline and preparation. But it's also about sacrifice. To be a top sportsman you have to really make a sacrifice about the way you lead your life. And that's sort of true of acting as well. If you want to give it a good go, you've got to make some sacrifices and be as dedicated as you can be. Particularly with Doctor Who. It's two or three hours of line-learning a night.'
Three quarters of Britain's young people say the Olympics won't inspire them to do more sport screams the headline of one of the most singularly pointless articles in the history of journalism in this week's Radio Times. Next week's 'exclusive', Three quarters of Britain's young people say the new series of Doctor Who won't inspire them to do more time travelling.
BBC2's excellent police drama Line of Duty improved its audience on Tuesday night while ITV's thoroughly wretched, loathsome and odious Andrew Lloyd Webber fiasco Superstar slumped to a new low. On several levels. The fourth episode of Line of Duty, starring Lennie James, was watched by 3.24m in the 9pm hour - its best audience figure since its launch in late June. Meanwhile, the second live show of His Gnomeship Lloyd Webber's risible Superstar dipped further to 2.37m between 9pm and 10.30pm. Which, you know, momentarily at least, restores one's faith in humanity as not being entirely worthless. Elsewhere in the slot, BBC1's Turn Back Time was watched by 3.24m - exactly the same figure of Line of Duty - and a particularly fine - and amusing - CSI took 1.67m for Channel Five.
Including Geoffrey Boycott, we are led to believe. Olympics comedy Twenty Twelve - broadcast immediately after Line of Duty on BBC2 - rallied by three hundred thousand punters week-on-week to 1.51m. Britain's Secret Treasures had an audience of 3.11m on ITV at 7.30pm and Love Your Garden followed with 3.1m at 8pm - both outperforming 9pm's Superstar. One imagines that they also cost ITV considerably less to produce. Overall, BBC1 won a landslide victory in primetime with 20.4 per cent of the audience share over ITV's 14.4 per cent. Once again, Lewis topped the multichannel shows with 1.02m on ITV3 between 8pm and 10pm, while Geordie Shore plummeted to three hundred and forty thousand sad, crushed victims of society watching on MTV. Tragedy.
And, here's some more good news, especially in the fact that it will piss off plenty of odious wretches at both the Gruniad Morning Star and the Daily Scum Mail. The Olympic Games will remain on the BBC up to 2020, after the corporation agreed a new eight-year deal to both the Summer and Winter sporting showpiece events. As the corporation prepares to act as the host broadcaster for the London 2012 Games, it has agreed a new exclusive rights deal with the International Olympic Committee. This means that the BBC will broadcast the 2014 Olympic Winter Games in Sochi, the 2016 Olympiad in Rio De Janeiro, the 2018 Olympic Winter Games in PyeongChang and the 2020 Olympiad - which has yet to be awarded to a host city. Despite a recent cut to its sports rights budget, the corporation has ensured that it retains the Olympics in its sporting roster due to the importance of safeguarding free-to-air coverage for British viewers. The BBC will be able to broadcast exclusive coverage of the Winter and Summer Games to UK homes, as well as offer coverage on other media platforms, such as BBC Online and mobile. IOC president, yer actual Jacques Rogge said that the BBC is 'a world-renowned media organisation' with a long history of covering the Olympics. Indeed. Mind you, if you try telling that to a few odious scum right-wing MPs and a few odious scum right-wing newspapers in this country Jacques me auld cocka, and you'll probably get a right mouthful of abuse for your trouble. Actually, come to think of it, you'll probably get something like that anyway. Because you're a foreigner. Welcome to Britain, people of the world. 'As the host of the London 2012 Olympic Games and the birthplace of many Olympic sports, the UK is a very important nation for the Olympic Movement,' Rogge said.
'The BBC is a world-renowned media organisation with which we are proud to have worked for many decades, including for the upcoming Olympic Games. We are delighted that the BBC will continue as our partner beyond London 2012, providing fantastic free coverage of the Olympic Games to the widest possible audience in the UK across a variety of media platforms.' IOC Vice President Thomas Bach, who led the negotiations (and who is, also, a foreigner - please take note and comment dismissively, Daily Scum Mail), added: 'The BBC consistently does an excellent job of broadcasting the Olympic Games, so this long-term agreement is very good news for sports fans in the UK. From a commercial perspective, we adapted our traditional broadcast rights approach in Europe for the 2014 to 2016 cycle and beyond, and have negotiated several key European territories directly. This announcement is significant as it completes the IOC's direct negotiations for the 2014 to 2016 period in Europe.' Mark Thompson, whose last major role as director general of the BBC will be to oversee the London 2012 coverage before he steps down in the autumn, said that that was 'delighted' the Games will remain on the BBC into the 2020s. 'It's terrific news in the days before BBC Sport begins to cover the London 2012 Games and a tribute to the enduring partnership between the BBC and the Olympic Movement,' he said. During London 2012, the BBC has agreed to ensure viewers can catch every minute of every Olympic event live on twenty four HD streams to be available on digital TV platforms and online. The corporation will deliver two thousand five hundred hours of live sports coverage across various platforms over the Games period. Despite which, you'll still find some odious twats whinging about the number of staff they're using to deliver all of this. The IOC also said on Wednesday that a vote on the host city for the 2020 Olympic Games will take place at the one hundred and twenty fifth IOC Session in Buenos Aires in September 2013.
Lawyers for the BBC are considering making a formal appeal against a court order which banned the corporation from showing a dramatised film about the experiences of rioters who took part in last summer's disorder. The ruling from a judge, or not, prevented the docudrama, which had been due to be broadcast on BBC2 at 9pm on Monday, from being broadcast 'by any media until further order.' The channel's executives were forced to pull the film, which is based on the testimony of interviews conducted for the Gruniad Morning Star and London School of Economics research into the disorder. A second BBC film in the two-part series, which is based on personal interviews with police officers and was scheduled for broadcast on Wednesday, is also banned under the order. For legal reasons, the judge who made the ruling cannot be named. Or otherwise. Neither can the court in which he (or she) is, or isn't, sitting or the case he (or she) is, or isn't, presiding over. Or not as the case may be. However, the Gruniad Morning Star claims that lawyers for the BBC 'strongly object' to his ruling, the nature of which, the Gruniad state, is 'believed to be highly unusual.' Hours before Monday's programme was due to be broadcast, the BBC tried and failed to appeal the order over the telephone. The corporation's lawyers are now working on legal arguments for a second potential appeal, which may be lodged on Wednesday. The programme, part of a two-part series, features actors who play anonymous rioters speaking about their experiences of the riots last August.
The BBC said in a statement on Monday: 'A court order has been made that has prevented the BBC from broadcasting the programme The Riots: In Their Own Words tonight. We will put it out at a later date.' They didn't add, but should have, 'we hope.' The script from the programme, written by the award-winning playwright Alecky Blythe, was produced from ver batim transcripts of interviews conducted as part of the Reading the Riots study, which conducted confidential interviews with two hundred and seventy rioters. The ban on the film has created a major headache for BBC executives, who are being forced to reorganise a packed schedule, which includes Olympic coverage and journalism based around next month's anniversary of the riots. The BBC did not give details about the nature or contents of the court order. However, the Gruniad claims to have 'seen a copy' - which might, in and of itself, be illegal - and allege that it states: 'It is ordered that the BBC programme The Riots: In Their Own Words due for broadcast on BBC2 tonight is not broadcast by any media by any means until further order.' The also claim that another part of the ruling states: 'Further the clip currently available for viewing on the BBC website be removed forthwith.' The clip referred to by the judge, or not, appeared on a blog posted last Friday, in which a BBC producer on the project said that using the 'important and illuminating' interviews in the drama would provide insight into 'why and how the riots had happened.' The clip - a short preview of the actors playing rioters speaking about their experiences - has now been removed from the site, although the blog itself remains. Kirsty Hughes, chief executive of Index on Censorship, said: 'This is a disturbing move. The Reading the Riots project gives a valuable insight into the events of last summer in England. As we approach the anniversary of the riots, it is important that broadcasts and discussion about the events are allowed to take place. Censoring television programmes is not in any way helpful to our understanding of the important issues and factors underlying the disturbances.'
Sulky-faced EastEnders actress Shona McGarty has reportedly been suspended from the BBC1 soap for regularly missing her scheduled start times. Twenty-year-old McGarty has played troubled Whitney Dean since being introduced as Bianca's adopted daughter in 2008. A BBC spokesperson said:
'Shona has been suspended for repeatedly being late for filming.' The actress has reportedly been suspended for four weeks without pay. After arriving in Albert Square, McGarty's character was involved in a controversial storyline about sexual grooming, which attracted two hundred complaints but was ultimately cleared by media regulator Ofcom. She has also been caught up in plots about prostitution and shoplifting as well as a particularly tangled web of relationships. In May, McGarty was quoted in one tabloid newspaper as saying she wanted to leave the show to 'pursue a singing career.' Well, when you start it, Shona, be sure to let us all know how you're getting on.
Meanwhile, speaking of desperate talentless wannabes having their dreams of riches beyond the dreams of avarice crushed into fragments by unwanted reality, numerous X Factor contestants faced a shock during the first day of Boot Camp on Tuesday. A total of sixty acts were axed from the singing competition before they even had the chance to sing, the Sun reports. Although, not with an actual axe, of course. Because that would be wrong. Very wrong. Over two hundred hopeful contestants had travelled to Liverpool to perform in front of Tulisa Contostavlos, Louis Walsh, Gary Barlow and new judge Nicole Scherzinger. However, nearly a third of them were instantly sent home from the Echo Arena. For not being good enough, basically.
Some hopefuls are said to have 'burst into tears' when they were told the news. Hopefully, ITV will have filmed this and it will form the basis for an entire episode of the bafflingly popular talent contest. Because, let's face it, sixty people snivelling and wailing is going to be far more interesting than them, you know, singing. The X Factor creator Wee Shughie McFee, the sour-faced Scottish chef off Crossroads, is believed to have ordered the cull of contestants. 'It was carnage,' one alleged source allegedly told the tabloid. 'They were told there would be an important announcement. They went out on stage to face Tulisa, Louis, Gary and Nicole - and then the bombshell. There were looks of shock on people's faces. Even the judges looked upset. Wee Shughie McFee, the sour-faced Scottish chef off Crossroads wants a higher calibre [of acts] this year.' An official X Factor spokesman added: 'Some of the contestants who got a "Yes" at their first auditions, when seen side-by-side against the others, were not of a good enough standard.' Hilarious.
The advertising watchdog has criticised the Daily Lies and Daily Scum Express for running a front page reader offer of five pounds off at Tesco, when the deal was, in fact, a standard offer available to anyone who shopped at one of the supermarket giant's stores. Richard Desmond's newspapers both ran front page promotions stating a 'Five pounds off shopping at Tesco when you spend forty pounds.' On the relevant inside page there was additional text which said: 'Simply spend forty pounds at Tesco this week and receive a five pounds off coupon for your next week's forty pound shop.' Express Newspapers, parent company of the Daily Scum Express and the Daily Lies, said it 'did not believe' that any part of its front page splash had 'implied' that there would be a five smackers coupon within the newspaper.
The publisher claimed it was only highlighting that it was possible to get five knicker off shopping at Tesco on spending forty notes. In its well-established role an helpful, entirely altruistic members of society, no doubt. Furthermore the publisher - bizarrely - claimed that if it had made it clear that a coupon was not required to get the deal it would have actually encouraged more consumers to buy its newspapers, 'because it was an additional benefit compared to coupon offers.' The Advertising Standards Authority was having none of such rank bollocks and disagreed with Express Newspapers' position, saying the overall impression of the promotional adverts indicated there was a discount offer only available to readers. 'We understood that promotion was generally available to Tesco customers, rather than only to readers of the Daily Star and Daily Express,' said the ASA. 'We considered the ads misleadingly implied the newspapers included a five pound discount offer that could be redeemed without further significant conditions when spending forty pounds, for example in the form of a coupon, and therefore concluded that they breached the [advertising] code.'
A former RAF Kinloss Mountain Rescue Team leader has told how he sought evidence that a Russian satellite crashed in the Highlands fifty years ago. David Whalley was intrigued by a story from the 1960s that a shepherd found the remains of a Sputnik on a moor above Ardgay in Sutherland. An RAF Kinloss Mountain Rescue Team member sent to the scene later told Whalley of finding unusual debris. Team members involved were allegedly told to 'keep quiet' about it. After becoming Kinloss's rescue team leader in the late 1980s, Whalley tried to find a record of the search in the team's logs. He believes the information was 'deliberately suppressed.' Sputniks were a series of satellites built and launched by the former Soviet Union. The first was launched in 1957 and was the first man-made satellite to orbit the Earth. The achievement has been widely credited with starting the space race between Russia and the US. In 1962, a shepherd reported finding wreckage from a Sputnik in the hills above Ardgay.
The late Jack Baines, an experienced climber who later became an RAF Kinloss MRT leader, was among military searchers sent to investigate. For the first time, Whalley has revealed publicly that he looked for records of what they recovered. He said: 'They found various bits and pieces. They included a part with Russian and pictures on it explaining what to do if the satellite was found crashed, and that a reward would be given for its return. Jack said the team were told to keep quiet about what they found. When he told me the story I first thought it was an urban myth, but he convinced me and I believe they definitely found a crashed Sputnik.' Whalley added: 'There is no incident report, or mention in the team archives, as I checked when I became the team leader in the late Eighties.' The story of the crash is recalled in a section of Frank Card's 1993 book Whensover, which marked fifty years of RAF mountain rescue. The book places the incident in spring 1962. In September of that year, a chunk of Sputnik IV smashed into a street in Manitowoc, Wisconsin, after the satellite burned up in the atmosphere.
Victoria Pendleton says that she sometimes feels 'trapped' by her success as she targets more Olympic gold in London. Britain's greatest female track cyclist is tipped to retain her sprint title when the Games begin later this month. But in a BBC1 documentary to be aired on Wednesday, the six-times world champion says she struggles with the huge expectation on her. 'My success has got so great, it's like I'm trapped, almost, within it,' said Pendleton. And she added: 'I compete in a sport on an individual basis but I have never done it for me. I was always cycling for my dad. Then the coaches got bigger and my results got better. Suddenly the responsibility grows and I'm doing it for somebody else, I'm doing it for a programme, I'm doing it for the country, I'm doing it for, like, everybody.' In Victoria Pendleton: Cycling's Golden Girl, the thirty one-year-old also revealed that the day she won Olympic gold in Beijing was the 'saddest' of her life. Just hours after her victory, her relationship with Scott Gardner, a key member of her support team, became public knowledge, causing resentment and ill-feeling amongst some members of British Cycling. 'Winning the gold medal should have been the happiest day of my entire life and it just wasn't,' said Pendleton. 'It felt like the saddest day of my life. Everyone was so angry with us, that Scott and I had fallen in love, because it was so unprofessional and we were a disgrace and had betrayed everybody.' Gardner, now her fiance, was initially banished from British Cycling but continued to work with Pendleton. However, the Australian was eventually reinstated in an effort to reverse Pendleton's dipping fortunes. 'Scott having to leave the team and everything he's worked for with us was a really huge deal,' said Pendleton. 'I think I will be forever in his debt. He has given up everything to be with me. That means a lot. That's why I need to do him proud at the London Olympics as well and prove it wasn't in vain or for no reason, just that it was all worth it.' Pendleton has dominated her sport for seven years but tells documentary makers that one of her 'biggest flaws' is her lack of confidence. 'When I am at competition, I spend a lot of time questioning myself,' she said.
'It's one of my biggest flaws, caring what other people think of me. I don't want to be a letdown.' She adds: 'Maybe I do kind of seek some kind of approval in the people around me. It really matters what they think. I want them to be proud of me and I want them to be pleased with what I've done. That makes me feel good about myself.' Pendleton has managed to keep her emotions in check but credits British Cycling psychiatrist Doctor Steve Peters with helping her. In the documentary, Peters said he had spoken at length with a very emotional Pendleton following her disappointing Olympic campaign in Athens, where she finished sixth in the time trial and ninth in the women's two hundred metres sprint. 'She basically cried for two hours,' he said. 'Vicky had no self-confidence. She had no way of controlling impulsive thinking, she had no way of containing emotion, she didn't know how to deal with emotion, she couldn't communicate well with people, she wasn't assertive. The list went on and on.' Pendleton says the discussion had a positive impact on her, helping to turn her from an Olympic also-ran into Olympic champion. Now, as she prepares to defend her title in London, Pendleton says she intends to bow out of the sport a winner. 'The only thing that really matters to me is going well in London,' she said. 'That's all that matters. That's all I'm trying to do. I want it to be the most amazing exit that I could possibly have from the sport.'
Two national newspapers have been found guilty of contempt of court over their coverage of Levi Bellfield's conviction for the murder of Milly Dowler. The High Court ruled the Daily Scum Mail and Daily Mirra had published 'seriously prejudicial' articles, a claim which the newspapers had both denied. When the articles were published, jurors had still been considering a separate attempted abduction charge. They were discharged after coverage of the verdict was considered prejudicial. During the contempt case, brought by Attorney General Dominic Grieve, the judges were told that stories in the Scum Mail and Mirra were part of an 'avalanche' of adverse publicity which followed the guilty verdicts against Bellfield. Jurors had still been considering a charge that Bellfield had attempted to abduct Rachel Cowles, then aged eleven, the day before he snatched thirteen-year-old Milly in Walton in 2002. Sir John Thomas and Mr Justice Tugendhat heard that as a result of the 'totality' of the publicity, the Old Bailey jury was discharged from returning a verdict on that count. Bellfield - who in 2008 had been convicted of the murders of Marsha McDonnell and Amelie Delagrange and the attempted murder of Kate Sheedy - was found guilty on 23 June last year of Milly's murder. The newspapers argued, risibily, during the contempt case that their articles would 'not have created a substantial risk of serious prejudice.' But the two judges rejected such crass bleating and ruled in favour of the attorney general. Grieve said after the decision: 'It is unfortunate that the deluge of media coverage following the Milly Dowler verdict, not only by these papers but also other media outlets, led to the judge discharging the jury before they had completed their deliberations on a charge of attempted kidnap, ultimately depriving Rachel Cowles of a verdict in her case. This prosecution is a reminder to the press that whilst the jury is still to reach a verdict on all counts of the indictment the Contempt of Court Act applies. The question of penalty is now for the court to consider.' Sadly, those responsible for writing, editing and publishing the articles are unlikely to have their sorry arses slung in jail with all the murderers and the rapists and the people who nick stuff from Morrisons. Although it's possibly worth the attorney general considering that, if they were to be, he might be dealing with a lot less contempt of court cases in the future. Just something to pop in yer toaster and see if it pops up brown, there, your generalship.
The action was brought against Associated Newspapers, publisher of the Daily Scum Mail, and MGN, publisher of the Daily Mirra. In the ruling, Sir John, president of the Queen's Bench Division, said the material published 'went way beyond what the jury had been told about Bellfield, murderer though they knew him to be and had again found him to be.' He said: 'There was a real risk that the jury would have thought that the additional material was relevant to the remaining count where he was charged with attempting to abduct a schoolgirl.' Sir John concluded: 'I am sure that each publication did create such a substantial risk of serious prejudice. The allegations of his sexual interest in, and depraved conduct to, young girls was highly prejudicial to the count that the jury were then still considering. What was set out went way beyond what the jury had been told or what had been broadcast on the preceding evening. I have little doubt that if the jury had not been discharged, there would have been a seriously arguable point that the conviction was unsafe.'
Richard Hammond has been photographed engulfed in flames in Los Angeles. Sadly, before the odious Stewart Lee could design a lengthy - and spectacularly unfunny - comedy routine loudly celebrating this, it was for a forthcoming TV show and the Hamster is, in fact, not in hospital suffering from third degree burns.
With his face covered in fire-resistant vaseline, the Top Gear presenter was set on fire while filming a scene for the second series of his American TV show, Crash Course. Hammond was also seen jumping off a bridge like a Hollywood stuntman for the show, which will see him take on uniquely American - often terrifying - professions. Season one saw Hammond cross the US, joining various job sites to master America's largest and most dangerous vehicles. In season two, he will tackle new challenges, with less than five days to master each job.
Clive Owen and Stephen Fry have signed up for an arts festival in conjunction with the London 2012 Olympics. Owen will interview Rwanda's first ever Olympic mountain biker, Adrien Niyonshuti, as part of Playing The Games, a two-week event taking place in the capital during the summer sporting spectacular. Stephen, an Olympic Ambassador, will question American track and field gold medallist Edwin Moses, and Ethiopian long-distance runner Haile Gebrselassie will also take to the stage to chat with filmmaker Stephen Daldry. The event kicks off at The Criterion Theatre in the British capital's West End on 26 July - the day before the Olympics Opening Ceremony.
The payment of millions of pounds in bribes to two FIFA officials is to be examined by the organisation's new ethics committee. Joao Havelange and Ricardo Teixeira were named as having received huge sums by FIFA's former marketing partner ISL. The odious Sepp Blatter was aware senior officials were paid millions of pounds, according to a court investigation. 'On my request, ISL file will be given to the new ethics committee,' Blatter tweeted on Tuesday.
'ISL is settled legally - now it will be settled also morally.' Last week Blatter stated on FIFA's website that he knew about the payments but that they were 'legal at the time.' He said: 'Back then, such payments could even be deducted from tax as a business expense. Today, that would be punishable under law.' Havelange was FIFA president for twenty four years before being succeeded by Blatter in 1998 while Teixeira, Havelange's former son-in-law, this year resigned as head of Brazil's football federation and the 2014 World Cup organising committee. Former United States attorney Michael J Garcia has been appointed by football's world governing body as head of the new ethics committee.
Bruce Springsteen has poked fun at the organisers who cut short his Hyde Park gig on Saturday. Taking to the stage in Dublin, the singer flipped a switch on a huge prop power generator and said: 'Before we were so rudely interrupted...' He and the E-Street Band then launched into the final minute of 'Twist And Shout', the song which was cut short at his London concert. It was one of a number of digs Springsteen made about his London show during the three-and-a-half hour concert. At the Hard Rock Calling event, Springsteen exceeded the time limit set by organisers, who pulled the plug on his set and then tried to blame various others including the local council and the Health and Safety Executive. He had welcomed Sir Paul Mc Cartney on stage for renditions of 'I Saw Her Standing There' and 'Twist and Shout', but their microphones were turned off before they could thank the crowd. Maurice Savage, who was at the RDS, said Springsteen told fans there was no curfew in Ireland 'to wild applause.' After opening with 'Twist And Shout', his second song of the night was a cover of 'I Fought The Law'. Classy! Springsteen also held up a sign which read 'Only The Boss says when to pull the plug' while wheeling on a huge on/off switch before playing 'Dancing in the Dark'.
Towards the end of the show, a man dressed as a London police officer came on stage and tried to arrest the musician. Chris Donaghue tweeted: 'Played up the curfew thing all night. Great gig!' 'The Boss was awesome,' posted Matt Cooper, adding, 'Did he milk the Hyde Park debacle!' Dublin City Council chiefs didn't escape the criticism either. Springsteen and his band were fined an estimated fifty thousand euros for breaching their curfew at two shows in July 2009. 'We're not sure when the curfew is tonight. Do you really have curfews in Ireland?' Springsteen said of the 11pm cut-off point agreed between promoters and Dublin City Council Planning. In addition to 'I Fought the Law', other songs played at the show included 'The River', 'Badlands' and 'My Hometown', the latter dedicated to yer actual Mr Bonio of The U2 Group. Despite all the jokes about curfews, Springsteen ended the gig shortly before 23:00 - well within the rules. So, you didn't really fight the law then, Bruce! Or, if you did, then, as in the Sonny Curtis song, the law, actually, won.
Twickenham Film Studios has been saved after its new owner promised to continue making films at the site. In February, it was announced the renowned studio would close in June - a year before its centenary - after the company went into administration. It was feared the studios would be sold to property developers. However, the new owner said the site would retain its production capability. The studio was recently used for The Iron Lady and My Week With Marilyn. Other classic movies made there include A Hard Day's Night, Help!, Let It Be, Alfie, The Italian Job, Repulsion, A Fish Called Wanda, Blade Runner, Saturday Night And Sunday Morning, The Stars Look Down, An American Werewolf In London, Layer Cake and Steven Spielberg's recent First World War blockbuster War Horse.
The new owner, Twickenham Studios Ltd, which is led by property magnate Sunny Vohra, promised refurbishments and improvements at the site. 'There will be increased employment opportunities at the studios with investment in additional staff to make the studio a hive of creativity and an exceptional place to work,' he said. The announcement of the closure of the studios triggered protests, with many local residents and celebrities - including Spielberg, Sir Ian McKellen and David Cronenberg - joining the Save Twickenham Studios campaign in support. Maria Walker, a post-production supervisor who led the campaign, will take over the job of chief operating officer. She said: 'The recent press, industry and public interest in the studios has shown how important the studios are to the industry and to the borough of Richmond and local community. Twickenham Film Studios has been delivering excellence to the industry for almost one hundred years and in my role I want to see that continue.'
Yer actual Keith Telly Topping is indebted to his good chum Danny Blythe for the following joke: Madge reacts to the news of her latest UK Top on hundred chart placing.
A man who reportedly has the largest penis in the world was searched by security at San Francisco Airport when TSA officials noticed 'a large bulge in his trousers.' At least, that's their story and they're sticking to it. Jonah Falcon, whose penis allegedly measures nine inches (or, thirteen and a half when he gets a bit excited) was 'extensively searched' and even had some white powder sprinkled on his trousers to 'test for explosives.' One repeats, that's their story and they're sticking to it. 
Guards said that they saw 'a very noticeable' bulge in the forty one-year-old's trousers, and interpreted it as a biological threat, the Sun gleefully reports. 'One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said "Yes." I said, "It's my dick." He gave me a pat down but made sure to go around my penis with his hands,' Falcon claimed. The New Yorker first rose to fame in 1999 after a documentary about his penis aired on HBO and he was also profiled in Rolling Stone magazine. Following his run-in with airport security, Falcon - who insisted he was not erect when he was stopped - said: 'I'm just going to wear bike shorts from now on. That way, they'll know.'
Which brings us to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. Here's Percy, of course.
Speaking at a Comic-Con press conference to promote his role in The Hobbit films over the weekend, Martin said: '[We film] in January until about April, I think.' He added: 'It's a pleasure for us to do. We love it!' Sherlock co-creator The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat (Thou Shalt Worship No Other Gods Before He) first revealed in May that a third series would commence filming 'in the New Year.' Mark Gatiss later confirmed that he will write the premiere episode, which will be at least in part based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's story The Adventure of the Empty House. Marvellous.Meanwhile, various Internet rumours that Billie Piper has been spotted on location at a recent Doctor Who shoot were, apparently (and, unsurprisingly) an - official - 'load of old bogus cock.' This chap, however, was spotted in them-there parts.
How very different the world might have been if he hadn't done that. He would've gone on to be a terrific Sharpe. Meanwhile, Sean Bean might well have been cast as The Doctor instead of McGann in the 1996 TV movie. 'Ey, Grace, lass, loooook at t'size of t'Cybermen!' And all that. I'd've watched it. Anyway, back to yer man Smudger. The twenty nine-year-old confirmed that the story was, essentially, true telling Radio Times: 'I'd love to play football. Everyone at work plays on Tuesdays, but they won't let me. I guess it's the insurance companies and, realistically, if I turn my ankle over and we can't shoot, then we're screwed, aren't we? It's a small price to pay.' So, nothing whatsoever to do with 'BBC bosses.' Matt is soon to be seen in the BBC drama Bert and Dickie, which sees the actor take on the role of British rower Bert Bushnell, who won a gold medal in the double sculls at the 1948 London Olympics. Matt spent six weeks being taught the basics of boatmanship by members of the Leander rowing club in Henley-on-Thames for the BBC1 drama. He revealed preparation for the role was physically demanding, saying: 'I've got blisters on the hand, cuts and bruises everywhere. Calluses. Your bum is the worst thing because those old wooden seats are pretty grim. I loved it, although it's taken its toll physically.' Matt also drew comparisons between being an actor and being a sportsman, adding: 'There are so many parallels between that world and the world that I inhabit. There's practice, for one thing, and that sense of discipline and preparation. But it's also about sacrifice. To be a top sportsman you have to really make a sacrifice about the way you lead your life. And that's sort of true of acting as well. If you want to give it a good go, you've got to make some sacrifices and be as dedicated as you can be. Particularly with Doctor Who. It's two or three hours of line-learning a night.'Three quarters of Britain's young people say the Olympics won't inspire them to do more sport screams the headline of one of the most singularly pointless articles in the history of journalism in this week's Radio Times. Next week's 'exclusive', Three quarters of Britain's young people say the new series of Doctor Who won't inspire them to do more time travelling.
BBC2's excellent police drama Line of Duty improved its audience on Tuesday night while ITV's thoroughly wretched, loathsome and odious Andrew Lloyd Webber fiasco Superstar slumped to a new low. On several levels. The fourth episode of Line of Duty, starring Lennie James, was watched by 3.24m in the 9pm hour - its best audience figure since its launch in late June. Meanwhile, the second live show of His Gnomeship Lloyd Webber's risible Superstar dipped further to 2.37m between 9pm and 10.30pm. Which, you know, momentarily at least, restores one's faith in humanity as not being entirely worthless. Elsewhere in the slot, BBC1's Turn Back Time was watched by 3.24m - exactly the same figure of Line of Duty - and a particularly fine - and amusing - CSI took 1.67m for Channel Five.
Including Geoffrey Boycott, we are led to believe. Olympics comedy Twenty Twelve - broadcast immediately after Line of Duty on BBC2 - rallied by three hundred thousand punters week-on-week to 1.51m. Britain's Secret Treasures had an audience of 3.11m on ITV at 7.30pm and Love Your Garden followed with 3.1m at 8pm - both outperforming 9pm's Superstar. One imagines that they also cost ITV considerably less to produce. Overall, BBC1 won a landslide victory in primetime with 20.4 per cent of the audience share over ITV's 14.4 per cent. Once again, Lewis topped the multichannel shows with 1.02m on ITV3 between 8pm and 10pm, while Geordie Shore plummeted to three hundred and forty thousand sad, crushed victims of society watching on MTV. Tragedy.And, here's some more good news, especially in the fact that it will piss off plenty of odious wretches at both the Gruniad Morning Star and the Daily Scum Mail. The Olympic Games will remain on the BBC up to 2020, after the corporation agreed a new eight-year deal to both the Summer and Winter sporting showpiece events. As the corporation prepares to act as the host broadcaster for the London 2012 Games, it has agreed a new exclusive rights deal with the International Olympic Committee. This means that the BBC will broadcast the 2014 Olympic Winter Games in Sochi, the 2016 Olympiad in Rio De Janeiro, the 2018 Olympic Winter Games in PyeongChang and the 2020 Olympiad - which has yet to be awarded to a host city. Despite a recent cut to its sports rights budget, the corporation has ensured that it retains the Olympics in its sporting roster due to the importance of safeguarding free-to-air coverage for British viewers. The BBC will be able to broadcast exclusive coverage of the Winter and Summer Games to UK homes, as well as offer coverage on other media platforms, such as BBC Online and mobile. IOC president, yer actual Jacques Rogge said that the BBC is 'a world-renowned media organisation' with a long history of covering the Olympics. Indeed. Mind you, if you try telling that to a few odious scum right-wing MPs and a few odious scum right-wing newspapers in this country Jacques me auld cocka, and you'll probably get a right mouthful of abuse for your trouble. Actually, come to think of it, you'll probably get something like that anyway. Because you're a foreigner. Welcome to Britain, people of the world. 'As the host of the London 2012 Olympic Games and the birthplace of many Olympic sports, the UK is a very important nation for the Olympic Movement,' Rogge said.
'The BBC is a world-renowned media organisation with which we are proud to have worked for many decades, including for the upcoming Olympic Games. We are delighted that the BBC will continue as our partner beyond London 2012, providing fantastic free coverage of the Olympic Games to the widest possible audience in the UK across a variety of media platforms.' IOC Vice President Thomas Bach, who led the negotiations (and who is, also, a foreigner - please take note and comment dismissively, Daily Scum Mail), added: 'The BBC consistently does an excellent job of broadcasting the Olympic Games, so this long-term agreement is very good news for sports fans in the UK. From a commercial perspective, we adapted our traditional broadcast rights approach in Europe for the 2014 to 2016 cycle and beyond, and have negotiated several key European territories directly. This announcement is significant as it completes the IOC's direct negotiations for the 2014 to 2016 period in Europe.' Mark Thompson, whose last major role as director general of the BBC will be to oversee the London 2012 coverage before he steps down in the autumn, said that that was 'delighted' the Games will remain on the BBC into the 2020s. 'It's terrific news in the days before BBC Sport begins to cover the London 2012 Games and a tribute to the enduring partnership between the BBC and the Olympic Movement,' he said. During London 2012, the BBC has agreed to ensure viewers can catch every minute of every Olympic event live on twenty four HD streams to be available on digital TV platforms and online. The corporation will deliver two thousand five hundred hours of live sports coverage across various platforms over the Games period. Despite which, you'll still find some odious twats whinging about the number of staff they're using to deliver all of this. The IOC also said on Wednesday that a vote on the host city for the 2020 Olympic Games will take place at the one hundred and twenty fifth IOC Session in Buenos Aires in September 2013.Lawyers for the BBC are considering making a formal appeal against a court order which banned the corporation from showing a dramatised film about the experiences of rioters who took part in last summer's disorder. The ruling from a judge, or not, prevented the docudrama, which had been due to be broadcast on BBC2 at 9pm on Monday, from being broadcast 'by any media until further order.' The channel's executives were forced to pull the film, which is based on the testimony of interviews conducted for the Gruniad Morning Star and London School of Economics research into the disorder. A second BBC film in the two-part series, which is based on personal interviews with police officers and was scheduled for broadcast on Wednesday, is also banned under the order. For legal reasons, the judge who made the ruling cannot be named. Or otherwise. Neither can the court in which he (or she) is, or isn't, sitting or the case he (or she) is, or isn't, presiding over. Or not as the case may be. However, the Gruniad Morning Star claims that lawyers for the BBC 'strongly object' to his ruling, the nature of which, the Gruniad state, is 'believed to be highly unusual.' Hours before Monday's programme was due to be broadcast, the BBC tried and failed to appeal the order over the telephone. The corporation's lawyers are now working on legal arguments for a second potential appeal, which may be lodged on Wednesday. The programme, part of a two-part series, features actors who play anonymous rioters speaking about their experiences of the riots last August.
The BBC said in a statement on Monday: 'A court order has been made that has prevented the BBC from broadcasting the programme The Riots: In Their Own Words tonight. We will put it out at a later date.' They didn't add, but should have, 'we hope.' The script from the programme, written by the award-winning playwright Alecky Blythe, was produced from ver batim transcripts of interviews conducted as part of the Reading the Riots study, which conducted confidential interviews with two hundred and seventy rioters. The ban on the film has created a major headache for BBC executives, who are being forced to reorganise a packed schedule, which includes Olympic coverage and journalism based around next month's anniversary of the riots. The BBC did not give details about the nature or contents of the court order. However, the Gruniad claims to have 'seen a copy' - which might, in and of itself, be illegal - and allege that it states: 'It is ordered that the BBC programme The Riots: In Their Own Words due for broadcast on BBC2 tonight is not broadcast by any media by any means until further order.' The also claim that another part of the ruling states: 'Further the clip currently available for viewing on the BBC website be removed forthwith.' The clip referred to by the judge, or not, appeared on a blog posted last Friday, in which a BBC producer on the project said that using the 'important and illuminating' interviews in the drama would provide insight into 'why and how the riots had happened.' The clip - a short preview of the actors playing rioters speaking about their experiences - has now been removed from the site, although the blog itself remains. Kirsty Hughes, chief executive of Index on Censorship, said: 'This is a disturbing move. The Reading the Riots project gives a valuable insight into the events of last summer in England. As we approach the anniversary of the riots, it is important that broadcasts and discussion about the events are allowed to take place. Censoring television programmes is not in any way helpful to our understanding of the important issues and factors underlying the disturbances.'Sulky-faced EastEnders actress Shona McGarty has reportedly been suspended from the BBC1 soap for regularly missing her scheduled start times. Twenty-year-old McGarty has played troubled Whitney Dean since being introduced as Bianca's adopted daughter in 2008. A BBC spokesperson said:
'Shona has been suspended for repeatedly being late for filming.' The actress has reportedly been suspended for four weeks without pay. After arriving in Albert Square, McGarty's character was involved in a controversial storyline about sexual grooming, which attracted two hundred complaints but was ultimately cleared by media regulator Ofcom. She has also been caught up in plots about prostitution and shoplifting as well as a particularly tangled web of relationships. In May, McGarty was quoted in one tabloid newspaper as saying she wanted to leave the show to 'pursue a singing career.' Well, when you start it, Shona, be sure to let us all know how you're getting on.Meanwhile, speaking of desperate talentless wannabes having their dreams of riches beyond the dreams of avarice crushed into fragments by unwanted reality, numerous X Factor contestants faced a shock during the first day of Boot Camp on Tuesday. A total of sixty acts were axed from the singing competition before they even had the chance to sing, the Sun reports. Although, not with an actual axe, of course. Because that would be wrong. Very wrong. Over two hundred hopeful contestants had travelled to Liverpool to perform in front of Tulisa Contostavlos, Louis Walsh, Gary Barlow and new judge Nicole Scherzinger. However, nearly a third of them were instantly sent home from the Echo Arena. For not being good enough, basically.
Some hopefuls are said to have 'burst into tears' when they were told the news. Hopefully, ITV will have filmed this and it will form the basis for an entire episode of the bafflingly popular talent contest. Because, let's face it, sixty people snivelling and wailing is going to be far more interesting than them, you know, singing. The X Factor creator Wee Shughie McFee, the sour-faced Scottish chef off Crossroads, is believed to have ordered the cull of contestants. 'It was carnage,' one alleged source allegedly told the tabloid. 'They were told there would be an important announcement. They went out on stage to face Tulisa, Louis, Gary and Nicole - and then the bombshell. There were looks of shock on people's faces. Even the judges looked upset. Wee Shughie McFee, the sour-faced Scottish chef off Crossroads wants a higher calibre [of acts] this year.' An official X Factor spokesman added: 'Some of the contestants who got a "Yes" at their first auditions, when seen side-by-side against the others, were not of a good enough standard.' Hilarious. The advertising watchdog has criticised the Daily Lies and Daily Scum Express for running a front page reader offer of five pounds off at Tesco, when the deal was, in fact, a standard offer available to anyone who shopped at one of the supermarket giant's stores. Richard Desmond's newspapers both ran front page promotions stating a 'Five pounds off shopping at Tesco when you spend forty pounds.' On the relevant inside page there was additional text which said: 'Simply spend forty pounds at Tesco this week and receive a five pounds off coupon for your next week's forty pound shop.' Express Newspapers, parent company of the Daily Scum Express and the Daily Lies, said it 'did not believe' that any part of its front page splash had 'implied' that there would be a five smackers coupon within the newspaper.
The publisher claimed it was only highlighting that it was possible to get five knicker off shopping at Tesco on spending forty notes. In its well-established role an helpful, entirely altruistic members of society, no doubt. Furthermore the publisher - bizarrely - claimed that if it had made it clear that a coupon was not required to get the deal it would have actually encouraged more consumers to buy its newspapers, 'because it was an additional benefit compared to coupon offers.' The Advertising Standards Authority was having none of such rank bollocks and disagreed with Express Newspapers' position, saying the overall impression of the promotional adverts indicated there was a discount offer only available to readers. 'We understood that promotion was generally available to Tesco customers, rather than only to readers of the Daily Star and Daily Express,' said the ASA. 'We considered the ads misleadingly implied the newspapers included a five pound discount offer that could be redeemed without further significant conditions when spending forty pounds, for example in the form of a coupon, and therefore concluded that they breached the [advertising] code.'A former RAF Kinloss Mountain Rescue Team leader has told how he sought evidence that a Russian satellite crashed in the Highlands fifty years ago. David Whalley was intrigued by a story from the 1960s that a shepherd found the remains of a Sputnik on a moor above Ardgay in Sutherland. An RAF Kinloss Mountain Rescue Team member sent to the scene later told Whalley of finding unusual debris. Team members involved were allegedly told to 'keep quiet' about it. After becoming Kinloss's rescue team leader in the late 1980s, Whalley tried to find a record of the search in the team's logs. He believes the information was 'deliberately suppressed.' Sputniks were a series of satellites built and launched by the former Soviet Union. The first was launched in 1957 and was the first man-made satellite to orbit the Earth. The achievement has been widely credited with starting the space race between Russia and the US. In 1962, a shepherd reported finding wreckage from a Sputnik in the hills above Ardgay.
The late Jack Baines, an experienced climber who later became an RAF Kinloss MRT leader, was among military searchers sent to investigate. For the first time, Whalley has revealed publicly that he looked for records of what they recovered. He said: 'They found various bits and pieces. They included a part with Russian and pictures on it explaining what to do if the satellite was found crashed, and that a reward would be given for its return. Jack said the team were told to keep quiet about what they found. When he told me the story I first thought it was an urban myth, but he convinced me and I believe they definitely found a crashed Sputnik.' Whalley added: 'There is no incident report, or mention in the team archives, as I checked when I became the team leader in the late Eighties.' The story of the crash is recalled in a section of Frank Card's 1993 book Whensover, which marked fifty years of RAF mountain rescue. The book places the incident in spring 1962. In September of that year, a chunk of Sputnik IV smashed into a street in Manitowoc, Wisconsin, after the satellite burned up in the atmosphere.Victoria Pendleton says that she sometimes feels 'trapped' by her success as she targets more Olympic gold in London. Britain's greatest female track cyclist is tipped to retain her sprint title when the Games begin later this month. But in a BBC1 documentary to be aired on Wednesday, the six-times world champion says she struggles with the huge expectation on her. 'My success has got so great, it's like I'm trapped, almost, within it,' said Pendleton. And she added: 'I compete in a sport on an individual basis but I have never done it for me. I was always cycling for my dad. Then the coaches got bigger and my results got better. Suddenly the responsibility grows and I'm doing it for somebody else, I'm doing it for a programme, I'm doing it for the country, I'm doing it for, like, everybody.' In Victoria Pendleton: Cycling's Golden Girl, the thirty one-year-old also revealed that the day she won Olympic gold in Beijing was the 'saddest' of her life. Just hours after her victory, her relationship with Scott Gardner, a key member of her support team, became public knowledge, causing resentment and ill-feeling amongst some members of British Cycling. 'Winning the gold medal should have been the happiest day of my entire life and it just wasn't,' said Pendleton. 'It felt like the saddest day of my life. Everyone was so angry with us, that Scott and I had fallen in love, because it was so unprofessional and we were a disgrace and had betrayed everybody.' Gardner, now her fiance, was initially banished from British Cycling but continued to work with Pendleton. However, the Australian was eventually reinstated in an effort to reverse Pendleton's dipping fortunes. 'Scott having to leave the team and everything he's worked for with us was a really huge deal,' said Pendleton. 'I think I will be forever in his debt. He has given up everything to be with me. That means a lot. That's why I need to do him proud at the London Olympics as well and prove it wasn't in vain or for no reason, just that it was all worth it.' Pendleton has dominated her sport for seven years but tells documentary makers that one of her 'biggest flaws' is her lack of confidence. 'When I am at competition, I spend a lot of time questioning myself,' she said.
'It's one of my biggest flaws, caring what other people think of me. I don't want to be a letdown.' She adds: 'Maybe I do kind of seek some kind of approval in the people around me. It really matters what they think. I want them to be proud of me and I want them to be pleased with what I've done. That makes me feel good about myself.' Pendleton has managed to keep her emotions in check but credits British Cycling psychiatrist Doctor Steve Peters with helping her. In the documentary, Peters said he had spoken at length with a very emotional Pendleton following her disappointing Olympic campaign in Athens, where she finished sixth in the time trial and ninth in the women's two hundred metres sprint. 'She basically cried for two hours,' he said. 'Vicky had no self-confidence. She had no way of controlling impulsive thinking, she had no way of containing emotion, she didn't know how to deal with emotion, she couldn't communicate well with people, she wasn't assertive. The list went on and on.' Pendleton says the discussion had a positive impact on her, helping to turn her from an Olympic also-ran into Olympic champion. Now, as she prepares to defend her title in London, Pendleton says she intends to bow out of the sport a winner. 'The only thing that really matters to me is going well in London,' she said. 'That's all that matters. That's all I'm trying to do. I want it to be the most amazing exit that I could possibly have from the sport.' Two national newspapers have been found guilty of contempt of court over their coverage of Levi Bellfield's conviction for the murder of Milly Dowler. The High Court ruled the Daily Scum Mail and Daily Mirra had published 'seriously prejudicial' articles, a claim which the newspapers had both denied. When the articles were published, jurors had still been considering a separate attempted abduction charge. They were discharged after coverage of the verdict was considered prejudicial. During the contempt case, brought by Attorney General Dominic Grieve, the judges were told that stories in the Scum Mail and Mirra were part of an 'avalanche' of adverse publicity which followed the guilty verdicts against Bellfield. Jurors had still been considering a charge that Bellfield had attempted to abduct Rachel Cowles, then aged eleven, the day before he snatched thirteen-year-old Milly in Walton in 2002. Sir John Thomas and Mr Justice Tugendhat heard that as a result of the 'totality' of the publicity, the Old Bailey jury was discharged from returning a verdict on that count. Bellfield - who in 2008 had been convicted of the murders of Marsha McDonnell and Amelie Delagrange and the attempted murder of Kate Sheedy - was found guilty on 23 June last year of Milly's murder. The newspapers argued, risibily, during the contempt case that their articles would 'not have created a substantial risk of serious prejudice.' But the two judges rejected such crass bleating and ruled in favour of the attorney general. Grieve said after the decision: 'It is unfortunate that the deluge of media coverage following the Milly Dowler verdict, not only by these papers but also other media outlets, led to the judge discharging the jury before they had completed their deliberations on a charge of attempted kidnap, ultimately depriving Rachel Cowles of a verdict in her case. This prosecution is a reminder to the press that whilst the jury is still to reach a verdict on all counts of the indictment the Contempt of Court Act applies. The question of penalty is now for the court to consider.' Sadly, those responsible for writing, editing and publishing the articles are unlikely to have their sorry arses slung in jail with all the murderers and the rapists and the people who nick stuff from Morrisons. Although it's possibly worth the attorney general considering that, if they were to be, he might be dealing with a lot less contempt of court cases in the future. Just something to pop in yer toaster and see if it pops up brown, there, your generalship.
The action was brought against Associated Newspapers, publisher of the Daily Scum Mail, and MGN, publisher of the Daily Mirra. In the ruling, Sir John, president of the Queen's Bench Division, said the material published 'went way beyond what the jury had been told about Bellfield, murderer though they knew him to be and had again found him to be.' He said: 'There was a real risk that the jury would have thought that the additional material was relevant to the remaining count where he was charged with attempting to abduct a schoolgirl.' Sir John concluded: 'I am sure that each publication did create such a substantial risk of serious prejudice. The allegations of his sexual interest in, and depraved conduct to, young girls was highly prejudicial to the count that the jury were then still considering. What was set out went way beyond what the jury had been told or what had been broadcast on the preceding evening. I have little doubt that if the jury had not been discharged, there would have been a seriously arguable point that the conviction was unsafe.' Richard Hammond has been photographed engulfed in flames in Los Angeles. Sadly, before the odious Stewart Lee could design a lengthy - and spectacularly unfunny - comedy routine loudly celebrating this, it was for a forthcoming TV show and the Hamster is, in fact, not in hospital suffering from third degree burns.
With his face covered in fire-resistant vaseline, the Top Gear presenter was set on fire while filming a scene for the second series of his American TV show, Crash Course. Hammond was also seen jumping off a bridge like a Hollywood stuntman for the show, which will see him take on uniquely American - often terrifying - professions. Season one saw Hammond cross the US, joining various job sites to master America's largest and most dangerous vehicles. In season two, he will tackle new challenges, with less than five days to master each job. Clive Owen and Stephen Fry have signed up for an arts festival in conjunction with the London 2012 Olympics. Owen will interview Rwanda's first ever Olympic mountain biker, Adrien Niyonshuti, as part of Playing The Games, a two-week event taking place in the capital during the summer sporting spectacular. Stephen, an Olympic Ambassador, will question American track and field gold medallist Edwin Moses, and Ethiopian long-distance runner Haile Gebrselassie will also take to the stage to chat with filmmaker Stephen Daldry. The event kicks off at The Criterion Theatre in the British capital's West End on 26 July - the day before the Olympics Opening Ceremony.
The payment of millions of pounds in bribes to two FIFA officials is to be examined by the organisation's new ethics committee. Joao Havelange and Ricardo Teixeira were named as having received huge sums by FIFA's former marketing partner ISL. The odious Sepp Blatter was aware senior officials were paid millions of pounds, according to a court investigation. 'On my request, ISL file will be given to the new ethics committee,' Blatter tweeted on Tuesday.
'ISL is settled legally - now it will be settled also morally.' Last week Blatter stated on FIFA's website that he knew about the payments but that they were 'legal at the time.' He said: 'Back then, such payments could even be deducted from tax as a business expense. Today, that would be punishable under law.' Havelange was FIFA president for twenty four years before being succeeded by Blatter in 1998 while Teixeira, Havelange's former son-in-law, this year resigned as head of Brazil's football federation and the 2014 World Cup organising committee. Former United States attorney Michael J Garcia has been appointed by football's world governing body as head of the new ethics committee.Bruce Springsteen has poked fun at the organisers who cut short his Hyde Park gig on Saturday. Taking to the stage in Dublin, the singer flipped a switch on a huge prop power generator and said: 'Before we were so rudely interrupted...' He and the E-Street Band then launched into the final minute of 'Twist And Shout', the song which was cut short at his London concert. It was one of a number of digs Springsteen made about his London show during the three-and-a-half hour concert. At the Hard Rock Calling event, Springsteen exceeded the time limit set by organisers, who pulled the plug on his set and then tried to blame various others including the local council and the Health and Safety Executive. He had welcomed Sir Paul Mc Cartney on stage for renditions of 'I Saw Her Standing There' and 'Twist and Shout', but their microphones were turned off before they could thank the crowd. Maurice Savage, who was at the RDS, said Springsteen told fans there was no curfew in Ireland 'to wild applause.' After opening with 'Twist And Shout', his second song of the night was a cover of 'I Fought The Law'. Classy! Springsteen also held up a sign which read 'Only The Boss says when to pull the plug' while wheeling on a huge on/off switch before playing 'Dancing in the Dark'.
Towards the end of the show, a man dressed as a London police officer came on stage and tried to arrest the musician. Chris Donaghue tweeted: 'Played up the curfew thing all night. Great gig!' 'The Boss was awesome,' posted Matt Cooper, adding, 'Did he milk the Hyde Park debacle!' Dublin City Council chiefs didn't escape the criticism either. Springsteen and his band were fined an estimated fifty thousand euros for breaching their curfew at two shows in July 2009. 'We're not sure when the curfew is tonight. Do you really have curfews in Ireland?' Springsteen said of the 11pm cut-off point agreed between promoters and Dublin City Council Planning. In addition to 'I Fought the Law', other songs played at the show included 'The River', 'Badlands' and 'My Hometown', the latter dedicated to yer actual Mr Bonio of The U2 Group. Despite all the jokes about curfews, Springsteen ended the gig shortly before 23:00 - well within the rules. So, you didn't really fight the law then, Bruce! Or, if you did, then, as in the Sonny Curtis song, the law, actually, won.Twickenham Film Studios has been saved after its new owner promised to continue making films at the site. In February, it was announced the renowned studio would close in June - a year before its centenary - after the company went into administration. It was feared the studios would be sold to property developers. However, the new owner said the site would retain its production capability. The studio was recently used for The Iron Lady and My Week With Marilyn. Other classic movies made there include A Hard Day's Night, Help!, Let It Be, Alfie, The Italian Job, Repulsion, A Fish Called Wanda, Blade Runner, Saturday Night And Sunday Morning, The Stars Look Down, An American Werewolf In London, Layer Cake and Steven Spielberg's recent First World War blockbuster War Horse.
The new owner, Twickenham Studios Ltd, which is led by property magnate Sunny Vohra, promised refurbishments and improvements at the site. 'There will be increased employment opportunities at the studios with investment in additional staff to make the studio a hive of creativity and an exceptional place to work,' he said. The announcement of the closure of the studios triggered protests, with many local residents and celebrities - including Spielberg, Sir Ian McKellen and David Cronenberg - joining the Save Twickenham Studios campaign in support. Maria Walker, a post-production supervisor who led the campaign, will take over the job of chief operating officer. She said: 'The recent press, industry and public interest in the studios has shown how important the studios are to the industry and to the borough of Richmond and local community. Twickenham Film Studios has been delivering excellence to the industry for almost one hundred years and in my role I want to see that continue.'Yer actual Keith Telly Topping is indebted to his good chum Danny Blythe for the following joke: Madge reacts to the news of her latest UK Top on hundred chart placing.
Guards said that they saw 'a very noticeable' bulge in the forty one-year-old's trousers, and interpreted it as a biological threat, the Sun gleefully reports. 'One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said "Yes." I said, "It's my dick." He gave me a pat down but made sure to go around my penis with his hands,' Falcon claimed. The New Yorker first rose to fame in 1999 after a documentary about his penis aired on HBO and he was also profiled in Rolling Stone magazine. Following his run-in with airport security, Falcon - who insisted he was not erect when he was stopped - said: 'I'm just going to wear bike shorts from now on. That way, they'll know.'Which brings us to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. Here's Percy, of course.
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